Page 129 of Smart Ass

“It’s hard letting someone take care of you, isn’t it?”

Full mouth. Couldn’t answer.

“Oliver is very happy with your dynamic.”

“Ow wo you know?” Ben asked around his mouthful.

“He and Quincy talk.”

“Huh.” Ben hadn’t realized that, but of course it makes sense. He was actually glad. He wanted his friends to be friends, and he knew that Oliver had wanted another spark to talk to. He swallowed. “Do they talk about me?”

Evan shrugged. “They talk about us. They love us.”

It was even weirder to hear Evan say that than Oliver, as if it were just so obvious that Evan was putting Ben in the same category as himself. As being… loved.

Ben must have made some kind of face, because Evan said, “You know, it’s okay to be loved, Ben. Oliver isn’t going anywhere.”

Ben put his croissant down. “I literally programmed him to be my ideal… whatever.” The boyfriend thing was still too new to say. “But he’s only been a spark for a month. He’s gonna change.”

“I thought that about Quincy, but I was wrong.”

Couldn’t Evan see the difference? “He’s going to get sick of cleaning up my messes.” The physical ones and the metaphorical ones.

“Or he won’t. You know, it’ll never be fair between you and Oliver, right?”

Where was Evan coming up with all this shit? It was like he’d poked tweezers into Ben’s brain, and was pulling out everything that Ben didn’t want to look at too closely.

“He’s always going to be stronger and faster and have more skills. He’s always going to be able to download a mod or synthesize thousands of videos and learn a new language or technique instantly. Every morning, you’re going to wake up and he’ll have done miraculous things for eight hours while you were sleeping. You’re never going to be able to compete with him.”

Oddly enough, Ben didn’t feel uncomfortable with this at all. It was just how Oliver was supposed to be.

“What I’m saying,” Evan continued, “is that he doesn’t love you because you’re the smartest or funniest one in the room, and he won’t stop loving you because you’re messy or easily distracted or irresponsible. He loves you because you’re you.”

Well, shit.

Shit.

Could that actually be true?

“Ben, you’re an extremely lovable guy. You’re a faithful friend. You’re endlessly giving to the people who are close to you—”

“It’s not—” Ben interrupted.

“No, you listen to me. I’m talking now.”

Ben’s eyebrows shot up. Evan was never pushy.

But he was staring Ben down right now, eyes flashing. “You are a good man, Benedict. Oliver loves you. I love you. Quincy loves you. A lot of people love you. And you’re just going to have to deal with it.”

Ben felt like a butterfly pinned to the wall. Was that really how Evan saw him?

And should he, uh, say something back?

Evan giggled. “Good god. You look like I just told you that I torture puppies in my free time.”

Ben grunted. It felt a little bit like torture.

And not the good kind.