Page 12 of Pretty ’n Peak

“And then she had to move, and my whole family kept telling me to marry her and I just… I mean, I liked her, but not enough to leave my home. She told me I wasted years of her time.”

“Maybe she wasted years of yours.” Austin was serious, and he hoped the boy could hear it in his voice.

“I hadn’t thought of it like that. I think I would come out if I… if I were in a relationship.” He said the last part like he was imparting a secret. And… maybe a hint of flirting?

Did Austin want him to be flirting?

No. That was ridiculous. He could enjoy the touch of Mateo’s hand and the warmth of his laugh without wanting anything more.

The satisfaction that settled in his chest was just from making a human connection. Helping someone calm down in an unsettling new situation.

“Is that what you’re looking for, then?” Austin asked. “A relationship?”

There was a ripple of movement, probably a shrug. “I’ve never slept with the same guy for more than one night. Well, ‘sleeping’ is probably overstating it. And then this kink thing…” There was silence while Mateo probably made some gesture or expression that Austin couldn’t see. “I don’t think I’m ready to run before I can walk.” Another long pause. “I’m just here to see if this is really what I’m interested in.”

“I think this is a good place to figure that out. What are you hoping to try this weekend?”

“Uh, I don’t... I mean, I have no experience. All of this stuff looks exciting in porn, but…”

“But porn’s not real life,” Austin finished for him. “Or so I’ve been told.”

“You don’t watch porn?” Mateo sounded shocked, but at least he wasn’t as nervous any more.

“Can’t, really. Lots of blurry shapes and some heavy breathing? Doesn’t do much for me. I have smutty audiobooks, though.” It was as good a way as any of bringing up his blindness. He didn’t want Mateo to feel like he’d have to tiptoe around it.

“Ah, that makes sense. I, um, have read a few of those. Or, uh, like, stories on the internet. Not audiobooks.”

Too, too cute. And he was dodging the question. There had to be hundreds of dirty desires floating around in there, or maybe just one, a single need that burned but couldn’t yet be spoken. “So what do you read in those dirty books? What are you itching to try?”

“Um…” He still sounded overwhelmed. He’d need to learn to ask for what he wanted.

“Or what have you tried? Let’s start there.”

“Ugh. I feel so dumb saying this. Like a total newbie.”

“Hey, it’s OK.” Austin found himself stroking over his hands, exploring that rough, warm skin. There was something charming about the way that Mateo just… let him—hand relaxed, not pulling away from his grip.

Austin realized that he liked being the one to soothe him. Silly, really. “Everyone was a newbie once. And no one will judge you here.”

“OK, so… I hooked up with this guy once. And he… Usually people expect me to top, you know? Which is fine, I guess. But he asked if he could be rough with me. To, ah, take me. Nobody’s ever rough with me.” Because of his size, Austin figured. “I said yes. We went back to his place and… I mean, it’s probably tame by your standards. But he slapped my ass a few times and he held me down. Then he was… I guess pretty rough. He was bigger than me, you know? I felt… I dunno, small and helpless in this crazy way, which sounds stupid. But I… I loved it. I wanted more. More than what he did. He said something about taking out his belt, and I wished that he had.”

“That sounds beautiful.” It truly did. Austin didn’t think he even remembered having that wide-eyed feeling of discovery, but Mateo was bringing it all back. “You deserved that belt.”

He could hear how Mateo ached for it. There was a need inside him that was clawing to break free. It was too bad so many of his hook-ups had missed it. How could a big, hulking guy on his knees be anything but hot?

There was something else, too, that was pulling Austin in. Maybe it was Mateo’s honesty and vulnerability, the way that he was trusting Austin with all of this. It made Austin feel… protective. Like he wanted to give Mateo that gift of a breathtaking first experience. Give him that overwhelming sense of feeling small and helpless for all the right reasons, knowing that Austin would care for and protect him.

Austin shook it off. Ridiculous.

“Yeah? So, do you think I am? Submissive, that is?”

Anyone who spoke in that hushed, hopeful tone about feeling small and helpless had to be. “It sounds like it.”

“And that’s not, like, weird? That I wanted some guy to hit me with his belt?”

“No, that’s definitely hot. Submission doesn’t have a size or shape. Anyone can be a Dom. Or a sub. Or a switch. There’s nothing weird about your desires. In fact, if you’re submissive, it should feel empowering, like you can shine because you get to express exactly who you are. With the right situation, submission should be the most exquisite feeling. Not just the endorphin rush, but like you’re free.”

Austin didn’t know why he was suddenly being so poetic, and it felt a little hokey. But he wanted that for Mateo. He wanted to almost… seduce him into kink with his words. He was sure that Mateo would be entrancing on his knees.