Page 60 of Love Unlimited

Fair point. I’ve definitely been curious about you and Greg just because of the Deaf-queer-kinky thing. We really should hang out more.

Definitely. Ok, so tell me why it’s complicated.

This is where I wasn’t sure how to begin. Um…. so Dustin and my Daddy have been romantically involved for years, but managed to avoid talking about it. It looks like Dustin’s exes kind of screwed that up for the two of them. Landon and I are trying to push them back together, and it’s just… Watching them together makes me want to laugh and cry because it means so much to them and they didn’t think they could have that. It’s really beautiful.

Wow, OK. Following so far.

And I’ve had a crush on Landon since I met him. It was a swoony hopeless crush where I didn’t think anything would happen, but I always feel bubbly and alive around him, you know? But I didn’t think anything could happen because he’s about ninety percent sub and I’m about two hundred percent sub, and it usually doesn’t work out that way.

Except… Marco prompted.

Except I told him I have a crush on him and now we’re being all flirty with each other. Practically all the time.

Marco raised one eyebrow. Didn’t you guys always flirt together?

Yeah, Ash agreed. But trust me, it’s different now. And Dustin’s part of it, too. Like the three of this have this really sexual dynamic going on that’s hot as fuck.

But it leaves your Daddy on the outside, Marco concluded.

Yeah. Can I just say how nice it is to be able to talk with you about this?

Marco nodded. Yeah, I wish I’d reached out to you about a year ago when I was struggling to figure things out with my Promiser. The way he signed the word with such reverence, an index finger to the lips sealing a promise into the fist of the other hand with a person modifier added to the end was beautiful to see.

Well, we’ll hang out more now, Ash agreed. Where was I?

Poly drama.

Yeah, exactly, Ash laughed. So, there’s this huge part of me that feels like we could all be together, the four of us. I know Dustin the least, but Zhong and Landon both love him so much, and just watching him love both of them makes me want to fall for him, too, you know?

I’m not poly, but it all makes sense. I mean, you can still be poly even if you don’t have a relationship with Dustin, just the other two.

Definitely. But if I did something sexual with Landon, I think it would involve Dustin, and… Ugh. I just don’t know what I want. Mostly, I only want sexual relationships if they’re romantic, and I only want romantic relationships if they don’t leave Daddy out.

That seems like a pretty clear idea of what you don’t want, then. And what it would look like if it went the way you wanted it to.

Ash considered. You know, I hadn’t thought about it that way. I guess I do have an image of what I wanted, but I’d been so worried about excluding Daddy that I didn’t let myself think about it.

I mean… would he be offended if you had sex with someone else when he doesn’t want to do anything sexual anyway?

The opposite actually. He invited the two of them explicitly, which should be a good thing. Except that I think it was coming from a place of inadequacy. He’s hung up on this idea that he can’t be enough for me. I said that I didn’t want to do anything more with the other two until he knows that we’re solid. Or, rather, I said that I didn’t want to do anything sexual with them.

Marco picked up his bagel and took a thoughtful bite. You know, I feel really weird eating this bagel right now.

Ash cracked up. Sex bagels! Well, I’m enjoying every bite of my delicious, delicious ice cream with all of the sides. Ohhh… and maybe we could talk about some of Dustin and Landon’s kinks. They could be, say… tea.

Marco covered his tea protectively. No. They could be literally anything else in this room. Then he took another bite of bagel anyway. OK, OK. So you said no sex. How are you feeling about that?

Logically, I feel great about it. I think it’s definitely the right decision. I know myself—I can’t be sexual with other people without it being emotional too. That seems like a lot of commitment that I don’t think we’re ready for.

We actually sat down and talked about it, Ash continued. And everyone else agreed that we were going to focus on just the three relationships. They drew each pair in the air, giving each a separate location. Landon and Dustin, Dustin and my Daddy, and Daddy and me.

I feel like you’re leading up to something.

Yep. I mean, my plan was to have Dustin have a special evening with Zhong, and Landon and I were going to hang out. Only I ended up slipping into little mode, which kind of happens when I’m feeling comfortable around people. And little me wasn’t thinking about not starting things. I was thinking about ice cream. Literal ice cream, I mean, to go with my berry pie in my metaphor. So Landon and I ended up in an age play scene that we didn’t plan, and he’s kind of accepted the big brother role. It felt really right, you know? Like everything was falling into place.

Marco still looked thoughtful. That sounds like a good thing. I mean, was everyone else OK with it?

As far as I can tell. We didn’t talk much this morning since everyone had to get to work. But everyone was in a great mood. Landon gave me a hug and Dustin looked more relaxed than I’ve seen him for a while, even though he has a stressful work thing going on. And I know Daddy thought we were cute together and had a nice evening with Dustin.