Page 36 of Love Unlimited

After all of that, Landon didn’t see how Zhong could be nervous about this, but he clearly was. Or at least in need of someone to talk to. I don’t know what kinky “enough” means; only you get to decide that for yourself. And I can’t speak for Ash, but I think you’re giving them exactly what they need. You’re their full-time Daddy.

And the puppy play. We both liked it, Zhong put in. It sounded like he was making a case in an internal argument.

That’s right. That’s something very intimate and special for you to share together.

As soon as Landon said it, he came to an important realization. His stomach sank, feeling heavy and knotted.

He’d been thinking of all of the flirting he did with Ash as maybe, hopefully, leading up to something sexual between them. He didn’t want it just for the sake of sex, because he really did like Ash a lot. There was something growing between the two of them. Or maybe the four of them. But Landon had been thinking of sex as the crescendo that everything was building up to.

He’d kind of dismissed the puppy play as a fun activity, probably because it was such a public, communal event the few times he’d been at Escape on pup nights. It was the type of thing where anyone could step in and toss a ball for a new friend, or just get down on the floor and merge in with the pack.

But for Zhong and Ash, this was their main event. The thing that everything else was leading up to. The thing that Zhong worried would be the only thing that he could offer, and it still wouldn’t be enough.

Landon was beginning to really see why Ash—and Dustin—were both so fiercely protective of Zhong.

Landon knew what that was like, feeling as if you didn’t deserve someone. Or any relationship at all. And he was starting to piece together enough of Zhong and Dustin’s backstory to realize that Zhong probably never felt like he was enough for his best friend, either.

Then Landon had inadvertently invited himself along for the most intimate part of Zhong’s relationship with Ash by suggesting the obstacle course.

Even if it sounded like it was the motivation Zhong needed, that was where Landon’s involvement had to end.

Landon made a decision. Sleeping with Ash just for fun wasn’t worth the inadequacy that Zhong might feel as a result. And he definitely wasn’t going to intrude on their puppy time.

So far, Landon had just been doing what felt right. Responding to each person and reacting, kind of testing things out and playing with the different vibes he got. But now crushing on Zhong’s partner felt wrong.

You know Ash adores you, right? he asked Zhong. From the beginning they described you as a natural Daddy.

Yeah? Zhong asked, looking hopeful. I feel like I just follow their lead. I mean, I never would have figured out any of it on my own. It’s just easy when Ash asks for everything so clearly.

I think it’s something between the two of you. You have a really good rapport. It’s like you can almost read each other’s minds.

Zhong laughed, throwing his head back and exposing his neck. Not even close. Do you know how long we spent dancing around our relationship? And we’re talking a lot now. But you’re right. Ash makes it easy to know what they want.

Landon sighed. I wish I knew how to do that. He hadn’t exactly meant to bring it up with Zhong, but he’d been thinking about it for a while. And Zhong had just shared so much, it felt right to open up to him a bit, too. Even things out, maybe.

Oddly enough, seeing Zhong’s vulnerability helped Landon feel more comfortable, too. It always seemed like Ash and Zhong just slipped into the Daddy kink relationship so naturally. For Landon, there was still a strain.

Zhong raised one eyebrow. You wish you knew how to make Dustin read your mind?

Landon gave a wry smile. Not quite. I mean… there’s this way that Ash is just so uninhibited, you know? Like, they just leap toward you and expect you to catch them.

Oh, that’s an excellent metaphor, Zhong agreed.

I meant it literally. But, yeah. I guess that’s the symbolism you were talking about. Only Zhong would classify his partner jumping into his arms for snuggles and kisses as a metaphor.

If we’re going with that, though, Landon continued, I’m not always sure how to jump. He had his two curved fingers, representing legs, take an aborted jump and then falter. Ash just does it. His fingers leapt confidently and joyfully around the space in front of him.

Zhong considered. I don’t think I realized it was so hard for you. He tilted his head to the side for a minute. Is that why you only initiate things by being disobedient or sexual?

I don’t only… Landon started. But then he thought about it. Was it true? He definitely initiated a lot of things by being naughty or sexual. Except for the more vanilla dating stuff, that was more balanced. But the Daddy stuff… Zhong maybe had a point.

He looked up to see Zhong nodding at him. Dustin initiates Daddy things by being comforting and calming. He likes to take care of you when you let him. He only ramps it up when you make it into something more.

It was like all of his worst nightmares confirmed. That he was too much. Too greedy. Too sexual. That was why Dustin had made them take a break from kink for a while. Do you really think that? Shit. I really don’t want to only ask him for sex. Am I pushing him away?

Zhong shook his head. He looked worried now. Of course not. I was just observing that you seem to know how to ask for the sexual stuff, but you seem surprised when Dustin gives you the non-sexual side of things. I assumed that’s what you meant by not knowing how to jump.

I… maybe? I just… Do you think that’s too much for Dustin? Is he going to get annoyed with me?