Page 110 of Love Unlimited

I know! Tell me about it!

Well, there will be lots of people… He indicated the people with two flat horizontal hands moving downward, chest width apart to show a body, then repeated it in different directions for the number. And they’re going to be walking… He moved his flat hands downward, like legs walking. In a parade. He went back to the original sign.

You’re mean. Ash told him, laughing. It’s happening tomorrow, so I think I should know!

Dustin booped their nose. It was something he’d started doing in the past few weeks, usually whenever they were being exceptionally cute. It was the more innocent placeholder for the kiss he wanted to drop on their adorable upturned nose. Nope. Your Daddy said it’s a surprise. Now eat your sandwich so you can get some sleep.

OK, they replied demurely, taking another bite.

Dustin pulled out of the parking lot and started navigating the streets.

When they’d gone a few blocks, Ash put down their sandwich, their expression more serious now. Will you tell me about Zhong’s family?

Sure. Dustin signed with one hand on the wheel. Even watching the street ahead, it wasn’t too difficult to converse in the car, and he automatically picked up signs in his peripheral vision. I’m not quite sure where to start though.

You know them pretty well though, right?

More or less. I spent a few weeks living with them every summer and visited at other breaks during college. But it was hard to get to know them because they’re not really fluent in either ASL or English. So we worked hard to communicate, but a lot of it was short sentences or having Zhong or his sisters translate. Mostly his mother would make us these delicious bowls of soup for every meal and a big feast the first night we got back from college each term. I think his Dad’s kind of quiet by nature and his mother’s more outgoing. But it was difficult for me to sort out whether the things that I observed were specific to his parents, or their culture, or just a product of the language barrier.

Can you give me some examples?

Well, I gave the example of the soup because it was very important to his mother. She would kind of crowd around us at each meal to make sure we’d eaten it all. It took me a while to see that she was really using it to express her affection, though there are some cultural aspects of it, too. I think she used it to demonstrate that she could be a good mother, taking care of her children and their friends.

Ohhhhh…. Ash’s mouth literally dropped open as they signed their understanding. That explains so much about Daddy.

I know, right? It took me even longer to see that he was doing the same thing with me sometimes. And every time he cooks for you.

I’m very lucky. Thank you for explaining that, though. What else can you tell me about his family?

His parents were very focused on him doing well, attending college, and making money. I suppose my family wanted that for me too, but you could really tell that for Zhong’s family it was about… representing himself to the community, maybe? There were discussions about what his career would be, and as soon as an idea came up, they would immediately mention everyone else they knew with that career and what their standing was in the community. In a way, it was this amazing network of people that he could go to for support. But there was also this sense that he needed to prove himself because it reflected on them.

Ah… I see. He’s said something about that to me, but I don’t think I really got it either.

Yeah. They’re also pretty traditional in their gender roles, but it looks different than it would in white U.S. culture. Zhong’s father owns a lot of properties that are rented out by mostly other Chinese families. His mother does a lot of work maintaining the properties and was responsible for raising the kids as well. But when they talk about it, they always say that his father owns everything instead of saying that they both do.

Ash looked thoughtful.

His mother has a bachelor’s degree, and she’s clearly very intelligent. When we were staying there one summer, she was learning high school calculus with Chu Hua–he spelled her name and gave her name sign–to help her prepare for the AP exams.

Which one is Chu Hua?

She’s two years younger than Zhong and she has two kids now. She uses Cindy as an American name too, but I’m not sure what she’s calling herself now.

Got it. Go on.

So basically there was this assumption that all of the kids, male or female, would take these advanced college courses, but the female children were still expected to settle down and make good wives. I think his parents have loosened up a bit after living here longer, but it comes up unexpectedly. All four of their children have more typical American expectations about stuff like that, though.

Zhong was telling me that they want him to get married.

Yep. Dustin winced. And it’s probably going to get worse now that Mei Lin is married. She’s the baby, which means he’s the only one left. Don’t let that put pressure on you though. Zhong cares about their opinions on some things, but not that. Just as a warning, though, he might downplay your relationship so they don’t bug him about it.

Yeah. he told me. He said that I could present as feminine, masculine, or nonbinary when we got there and that he would support me, but I wasn’t sure if nonbinary was a good idea.

Ugh. That was a tough one. I don’t have any better advice for you, other than to talk it over with Zhong. His family has always been cool with me being gay, but I’m not part of the family, and I’m white. So I don’t know if it would be different for their son.

Landon’s wearing completely masculine clothing around them, right?

That’s my understanding. Though I know that Zhong told him the same thing he told you. We’ll all stick up for either of you. We have nothing to hide, and we’ll do anything necessary to keep you safe. I don’t think safety would be an issue though. Disapproval… maybe?