Page 82 of Love Limits

They turned a bit farther and realized that some of what they’d thought was background music was Josh talking to them.

“Sorry. Can you say that again? If you want to talk to me you need to get my attention first and look at me. You can wave like this.” They indicated the shape, palm downward, like tapping someone’s shoulder but in the air.

“No, I should apologize. I guess I thought you could hear me a bit.”

“Nope,” Ash said, only bristling slightly. They’d said this a thousand times, but it wasn’t Josh’s fault that he didn’t know. “Especially not if there’s music in the background.”

Josh winced and took a few steps into the next room to adjust something, then came back. “Better?”

“A bit. I still won’t be able to hear most of what you’re saying. In a quiet room, it helps if you project your voice more. Mostly, you just have to make sure that I’m looking at you first.”

“It was easier at the restaurant, I suppose.”

“Yep. Except for when you were chewing. That’s why I switched to reading from the app. But I’m used to it.” They shrugged. It was a constant difficulty, a mental strain that they took for granted. And Live Transcribe had made their life a thousand times easier, but reading from a little screen during a date instead of looking at his face still sucked.

Spending so much time with Zhong, along with the weekly game nights with Dustin and Landon, felt like a vacation by comparison. So maybe they weren’t as used to the hearing world anymore as they thought.

They were going to give this thing with Josh a chance, though. A real chance. “So, what were you saying again?”

“Oh, just that if you give me your jacket I can hang it up. Then I can show you around or we can go eat. Whatever you want.”

Ash unzipped the jacket. It felt strange. Unzipping their jacket was Daddy’s job. No, actually, it was Zhong’s job. It always had been from that first evening.

It wasn’t actually cold out, but they wore it to cover their midriff-baring t-shirt. It sported a large yellow duck, and they’d decorated it further so the duck was wearing rain boots and holding an umbrella. They’d paired with loose blue sweatpants with elastic at the ankles.

Josh’s eyes lit up when he saw the ensemble. It felt good to have his eyes on them, to have someone who appreciated their body.

Ash handed over the jacket and he hung it up.

This time, Josh waited until they were facing each other to talk. “I know it’s a little awkward getting to know each other. So we can go at your pace. If you want to talk a bit, we can, and we don’t even have to play tonight if you don’t want to. Or if you’re ready, I can help you get into your little space.”

They’d already talked a lot about what that might look like on the first date, so they shouldn’t need to discuss much now. Ash had stated that they didn’t want to remove any clothes, which was why they’d come over dressed for the occasion.

That part had felt good but, yeah, it was kind of awkward right now.

“Maybe, um, you could show me around? Or we could eat first?”

“Let’s eat first. Then I’ll show you the playroom.”

Good. That was nice. Josh had a plan, just like a Daddy should. They could figure this out together.

Before they reached the kitchen, Josh turned back and held their hands, making sure they were looking up at him. It looked like he was ready to explain something.

Ash held up a finger and dug their phone out of their pocket. It would help to have Live Transcribe running in the background, even if they didn’t look at it much. When they had it on, they nodded for him to continue.

“Don’t ever be shy about using what you need to communicate, baby. I’ll try to learn, too.” Even though Ash wasn’t at all shy about their assistive devices and frankly wouldn’t put up with someone who gave them trouble over them, they still appreciated Josh saying it.

“Ready?” he asked.

“Ready.” So ready. They needed this to get started so they could turn off that questioning voice at the back of their mind.

“Here’s what I’d like to do this evening. I’m going to keep giving you choices of little or big things. You can choose the kid’s place at the table or take one of the other chairs. You can choose which meal to eat and how you want to eat it. After dinner, you can choose the couch or the playroom. When you decide that you’re ready, I’ll be ready, too.”

“Thank you. That sounds perfect.” A bit of tension fell from their shoulders now that Josh was stepping in. He really was a thoughtful and experienced Daddy.

“Go wash your hands and choose a spot at the table. I’ll be right behind you.”

Ash obediently washed and dried their hands, then looked at the imposing dining room set. There were eight chairs ringing the table made of beautifully carved dark wood, polished to a shine.