Page 73 of Love Limits

Ash chomped it down then put the last square in their mouth. Hopefully it was at least the vanilla one, though he wouldn’t bet on it.

Why do I have to have fruit with my treats? Ash’s lips were pressed together to keep everything inside. They didn’t seem to be rebelling, though, just curious.

It’s respectful. It shows respect between the person making the meal and the person eating it. I guess it’s kind of like thanking the other person for enjoying a meal together. He hadn’t really thought about it before, let alone how to explain it to someone with the current mindset of a preschooler.

Ash looked up in surprise. Really? I thought it was because you wanted me to be healthy.

I make you nice dinners to be healthy. If I really wanted you to be healthy, I wouldn’t give you ice cream.

Ash made a scandalized face. But you do give me ice cream!

Well, I want you to be happy, too.

Ash looked up at him with the most adoring look he’d ever been given. You do. You make me so very, very healthy and happy. They set down their bowl and climbed into his lap, sticky face and all.

That warm feeling in Zhong’s chest felt like it was going to spill over and run through him.

He held them close. If this was what real Caregivers got out of this, he felt like he could finally understand it.

And Ash… it was so apparent now why they needed this. It had been so many tiny things, but all aimed at showing them that they were protected and cherished. The weight on their shoulders had dropped the moment he tickled them, and that lightness shone in every gesture that they’d made all night.

The sobering thought was that Zhong couldn’t really give this to them either. It had been a fascinating and enjoyable evening, of course. But he didn’t crave it. He certainly wasn’t turned on by it, or whatever the equivalent might be. If Ash wanted to do this every other time they came over or never again, he really had no preference.

He was pleased that Ash was so delighted and free, and proud that he’d been able to help them with it. Yet at the same time, it felt like he’d just been along for the ride. Ash was the one who knew all about this age play stuff, and he’d just made sure that they got to do the things they loved. They weren’t that hard to guess anyway.

It was kind of like when Ash pulled out their pacifier to go to sleep. He was glad that they were comfortable, and he loved the look of contentment that settled over their face when they slid it into their mouth. But literally the only thing he’d done to support them was to not have an adverse reaction like they’d been worried about.

He realized then how much he’d been hoping that he’d love it. That it would be his new favorite thing in the world and something that might, maybe, convince Ash to… well, something. Want to be with him more than anyone else, he supposed.

Ash stirred on his lap, untwining their thin arms from around his neck. Are you OK? They looked up at him doubtfully.

Yeah, just tired.

He needed to think about this later, not while Ash was here, and especially not while Ash was vulnerable and counting on him for guidance and protection.

I’m sleepy, too.

At least that was one thing he knew how to do. They were still wearing their scrubs from work. Let’s get ready for bed, then. Do you have any PJs in your bag?

They thought about it, then shook their head. I have a t-shirt under this, though.

No problem. Go brush your teeth and use the toilet, then I’ll get you ready for bed.

He gave them a few minutes of privacy while he washed the dessert dishes and turned on the lamp by the bed.

Ash entered a moment later, their breath minty fresh, and sat down on the edge of the bed. The folded t-shirt was right next to them, but they just watched him instead.

Alright, he could totally do this. He knew that Ash had concerns about how people perceived their body, and Zhong had his own history of people trying to guilt him into being sexual. So this could be a minefield for both of them.

On the other hand, it was Ash. They wanted someone to take care of them and show them they were safe.

He was overthinking this. Arms up! When they complied, he pulled their scrubs shirt up and over their head, getting only a little tangled with the stiff fabric. Underneath was a white t-shirt.

That can stay on, they told him.

Good. That made everything so much easier. He pulled the larger t-shirt over their head and they gave him a sweet smile when their head popped out. He helped them wiggle their arms through, then knelt on the floor.

Stand up. He pulled down their pants, taking their socks with him. Underwear stayed on. Ash sat down again and he pressed a small kiss to their knee.