Page 61 of Love Limits

They padded into Zhong’s bedroom to find him leaning back on a pile of pillows and looking at his tablet. The lamp was turned down low, and he looked inviting and seductive, yet also comfortable and cozy.

Ash wished, for maybe the first time in their life, that they didn’t feel that pull of attraction. It wasn’t appropriate or desired. And ironically, if they didn’t feel it, they might have a chance with Zhong.

But that was another thought that could wait for the morning. For now, they would just have to focus on the comfortable and cozy side of things and ignore the thrill of excitement dancing through their belly.

Ash walked around to the far side of the bed. About halfway there, Zhong noticed them and gave them a wide smile. He pulled back the covers and patted the mattress.

Ash set down their bag and pulled out their paci. Then they climbed in, feeling somehow both shy and exuberant.

Are you OK? Zhong asked, picking up on their hesitation. I could still sleep on the couch if you want.

No, everything’s great, Ash answered quickly. This was exactly where they wanted to be, even if their hormones were being stupid. This is perfect.

Crossword puzzles or sleep? Zhong asked. Because he really was perfect.

Um… maybe just a few clues?

Zhong laughed. I’ll hold you to that. No getting sucked in and staying up too late.

Ash crawled in and snuggled up against his side.

They popped the paci into their mouth and… God, it was magical. At home, it soothed them to sleep, but just holding the soft, round rubber in their mouth while they leaned against Zhong’s chest felt like it transported them to another world.

This was nothing like using it alone.

They watched the screen, but it was hard to concentrate when Zhong was almost naked and had one strong arm wrapped around their back. He started stroking their side in between entering letters.

Everywhere that their bodies touched, Ash’s skin tingled. They were completely ignoring the game. It felt like every part of their body was alive.

You’re too tired for this, Zhong said after a moment. Time to sleep. He shut off the tablet, then pushed Ash just far enough away to lean over and turn off the lamp. He slid something under his pillow, which Ash realized must be his phone. He probably used the buzzing as an alarm clock, which was how Ash’s texts had woken him earlier.

He settled back into the bed, and then pulled Ash against him, tangling their legs together and encouraging Ash to rest their head on his shoulder. When he started rubbing Ash’s back, they were pretty sure that they were in heaven.

Or maybe hell, since none of this could ever go anywhere.

They didn’t ever want to fall asleep.

Tentatively, they rubbed one hand over Zhong’s chest. He nuzzled his chin approvingly against their forehead, so they continued, making bigger arcs with their hand and getting to know his defined musculature.

Their fingers slid over one flat nipple, but Zhong’s breathing didn’t change at all. When they traced over it again, Zhong gave a relaxed sigh.

Since Ash’s leg was wrapped around Zhong’s hip, their thigh was nestled against his groin and… yeah. No response at all. They’d known for months now that Zhong was asexual, but actually experiencing it was different.

He seemed to be comfortable touching like this, and gave all evidence of enjoying it. Just in a way that was foreign to all of Ash’s experiences.

Zhong ran the tips of his fingers down Ash’s face, brushing over their eyelids and gently closing them. It was the word for sleep, a tender suggestion in the dark.

Ash pushed aside all of their tangled questions and tried to follow Daddy, er, Zhong’s instructions.

Zhong continued the soothing motion along their back, and before long they started to drift off. They rolled onto their back to be more comfy, and he stretched out his arm beneath their pillow. They tangled their fingers with his and he squeezed back.

They fell asleep already dreaming about when they could do this again.

***

Ash woke to the feeling of fingers running through their hair. They rolled toward the sensation, but aside from that touch, the bed was disappointingly empty.

They finally blinked open their eyes.