Page 56 of Love Limits

Hey, are you OK?

Yeah, uh, I forgot to get water. He turned back to the kitchen.

Crap. He couldn’t figure out if this was good or bad. There was Ash, sitting in the living room looking joyfully adorable while they read the back of the game boxes.

And here was Zhong, in the kitchen, knowing that he couldn’t ever give them what they needed and that they would eventually leave.

Ugh. He was starting to understand why Dustin got so dramatic about things.

He filled a glass of cold water and drank it all down. He wasn’t going to ruin their evening with his own angst and insecurities.

This was game night. And just because it was his idea of a perfect date, didn’t mean it was what Ash was looking for. Well, for a friend, obviously. But not for a partner.

Even their pajama party a few weeks ago was only supposed to be a perfect date as a joke.

Mindlessly, Zhong refilled his water glass and got out another one for Ash. He wasn’t going to think about this anymore. Not right now. He needed time to process and record his thoughts in neat columns where they wouldn’t threaten to overwhelm him.

He walked carefully back to the living room. It felt like the air was different. The floor felt strange beneath his feet. Everything seemed new, but of course it was only Zhong’s perception.

He studied Ash. Adorable. Fun. The perfect companion. And so joyous that just the thought of them brought a smile to his face.

Now he just needed to not act like an idiot. They didn’t need to know anything had changed.

Fortunately, he had years of practice.

Whatever worries he had about their… friendship, he’d leave them for another time. Tonight, like he always did with Dustin, he’d just soak up the joy of Ash’s company.

They played Azul first, then Wingspan. Ash poured over the artwork and Zhong loved to hear their excitement as they talked about both the technique and the emotions that it evoked.

Behind that though, he kept asking himself: What is this? Friendship? Romance? Love? And did the distinction really matter?

And was it just Zhong’s awareness of his interest that made them look so adorable? Their chin was so round and cute, their fingers delicate and graceful. Just seeing them made him want to move closer. To wrap them up and hold them close.

Definitely too much to think about.

When the game wound down, Zhong agreed to pack up the food while Ash cleaned up the game.

He’d seen the pink lunchbox that he bought in their dish rack and… well, he wanted to pack it up for them.

He filled the little compartments with a bit of each thing they’d ordered, smiling at just the thought of Ash opening it and knowing who made it for him.

Fuck. He really did have a crush. How had he missed this before?

Would Ash know what he was feeling as he filled each of the little divisions? And would it be good or bad if they did?

He scouted around their cabinets and found a pack of gummy candies for the last compartment. Then, he sealed everything in with the tight-fitting lid.

If only his own feelings could be sectioned off so easily.

No, he wasn’t going to think about that now.

Zhong might not be a Daddy, but maybe he could at least give Ash this.

Chapter 12

Ash

Ash rolled onto their hands and knees to nuzzle the Handler’s chin, the foam nose on their snout bobbing. Martin had been fun to play with tonight, tossing the ball again and again while Ash and his pup Tyko scrambled after it. When Tyko got worn out, he’d even invited Ash, with some gentle shoves, to share his Handler’s lap.