Page 99 of Love Lessons: Expanded Edition

Dustin laughed. Badly. Apparently I can’t hear rhythms very well, though my sense of pitch is fine. I could never play with a band or anything because the other sounds would be overwhelming, and I probably wouldn’t stay on rhythm. I mostly picked it up because I wanted to look cool and my parents agreed since it’s supposed to help strengthen auditory connections.

Lena snuggled closer into Dustin’s warm bulk and shook her head when he offered her another bite. Her belly was full and now she was thinking about other hungers. If only she could figure out how to bring it up.

Thank you for telling me. Would it help if we had a visual signal when you tie me up? Not that he had yet. Like maybe if I was holding a colorful scarf that I could wave or drop or something? Something a bit easier to see?

Dustin thought about it. I think it couldn’t hurt. But it also feels complicated. And I’m not sure if it would be that different from just watching your hands. It could be useful for some things, though. He gave her a wicked smirk.

That look gave her confidence. I wanted to tell you about aftercare for me, too. I think we didn’t discuss it before.

She immediately had all of his attention and she loved being the focus of that penetrating gaze.

So, I know that after a scene some people feel relaxed and floaty, but I usually feel a bit jangly and energetic. I didn’t feel that way as much with our scenes, and it kind of depends on what I’m doing. I hate being held afterward, but it’s usually OK with you. She felt kind of shy admitting that.

And when I have subdrop, she felt him stiffen around her, it’s usually the next day. It’s nothing terrible. I just feel a little sad and need some extra space. And maybe some extra cuddles. Hopefully. She wanted it to be different with Dustin. I usually just try to go on with my regular day and try not to make any important decisions or do anything difficult. It’s not a big deal, just something that happens.

Dustin drew her fingertips to his lips and gave them each a kiss before dropping her hand. I’m sorry that I did that to you.

Lena shook her head. No, you don’t understand. It’s completely worth it. Every time. The reason I have subdrop is because whatever happened the day before was so amazing that it used up a two-day supply of pleasure transmitters in my brain. I promise it’s a good thing.

Dustin smiled, but it still looked strained. Thank you for telling me. I understand better now. Will you tell me if it happens again?

I will. This wasn’t where she’d expected to be a few months ago, but talking with both Dustin and Ash had helped her figure a lot of things out. If she trusted Dustin enough to have a relationship, she needed to trust him enough to handle her moods and subdrop, too. He needed to be able to trust her in return.

She tried not to wish that they could go back to being kinky. It hadn’t even been a month. It was just a stressful time. And submission was how she let go of stress.

Maybe their conversation would start giving him ideas. She trusted him, though, to set the pace. In so many ways, what they had now was above and beyond anything she’d had before.

She turned her head up, hoping for a kiss, and he gave it to her. His kisses were always amazing, creative and sensuous, playing with her mouth and drawing her in to whatever tempo he created.

He led her to the shower and gently washed her everywhere, his adoration clear. He kissed her passionately and even dropped to his knees to suck her off with obvious enjoyment. When her legs were weak and she felt drowsy and small, he dried her off, dressed her in a loose t-shirt and panties, and tucked her into bed.

It was so close to perfect… and that only made it harder to admit how hard this was.