Page 4 of Love Lessons: Expanded Edition

Out of the corner of his eye he was watching the cluster of subs, mostly because one of them looked so miserable. What was his name? Casey? Carter? Caleb? Something like that. His Dom was… some big, muscular guy Landon didn’t think he’d ever been introduced to. He didn’t appear to be here tonight, but then again, all of the subs seemed to be solo this evening.

Someone said something in the group, and everyone started laughing while Casey/Carter/Caleb drew back and shrank into himself.

Landon definitely didn’t want to dominate anyone tonight, but since he'd been coming to Escape for so long, he felt a responsibility to reach out to newer members. Especially if it looked like they were having trouble fitting in. He might not be a therapist, but he could keep someone company and lend an ear.

Landon walked over and crouched down next to him, making himself small and non-threatening. “Hey,” he said, hoping he was pitching his voice at just above a whisper. “I don’t have any company. Want to come join me?”

“Me?” He looked shocked, like he couldn’t imagine anyone wanting to spend time with him.

“Yeah, come on over. I could use some company. I’ve forgotten your name, but I know we met before.”

“Yeah, I’m Casey. And you’re Landon. Everyone knows you.”

Landon gave a languid shrug, turning on the automatic flirt. “I like to get to know people. Come on over.”

He led Casey back to his table and gave him a moment to get settled. He had a sense that Casey would need it.

“Just a reminder, I’m Deaf so you have to look at me directly when you speak or I can’t understand you.”

“Yes, Sir.”

Landon smiled gently. “I’m not a Dom tonight. Just another sub like you.”

“Wow. I can’t ever imagine switching.” Casey looked impressed.

“I like it sometimes. But I’m still about… eighty percent sub, maybe? When I’m in a good mood I can go either way, but when I’m having a rough day, I just want to take my mind off everything and submit.”

“So you’re having a rough day?”

“Yeah.” He’d thrown that in there mostly to help Casey open up. “My job might not have a position for me next year, and I’m kind of ticked off. I mean, I can get another job, but the reasons they’re changing the positions are bullshit.”

“I’m sorry. That sounds rough.”

“Yeah.” Landon shrugged. “How about you. What’s going on with you?”

Casey’s expression barely changed, but tears started leaking from his eyes. He shook his head like he didn’t want to talk, but Landon was pretty sure he did.

“Hey,” Landon wrapped his fingers around Casey’s larger hands where they rested on the table. “Whatever it is, I’m here to listen. No judgment, OK?”

Casey gulped two more times before freeing his hands to angrily push away his tears. He put them back on the table, though, where Landon could hold them.

“Start anywhere. I’m not doing anything else tonight.” There went his evening, not that he would ever let Casey know that. He really needed a scene tonight, but if it wasn’t going to happen, it wasn’t going to happen. Casey needed him more.

“I’ve been trying so hard. But my D… no, Jason, I guess. I left him. And I know it was the right thing to do, but now I keep doubting myself.”

“What do you mean?”

“He wanted to tie me up and I said that it made me uncomfortable. It was a soft limit, but I was freaking out. Because it reminds me… well, it reminds me of things I don’t want to remember. I didn’t safeword, because I didn’t want to stop, and I would have been fine doing something else. I just kept asking to do something else until I was really freaking out. So we stopped. But then… he said that if I couldn’t trust him then I wasn’t really submitting. Which is bullshit, right?”

Landon felt his blood boiling. “Let me make sure I understand. You were having a panic attack or a flashback because being tied up is a trigger for you?” Casey nodded. “And he knew this?”

Casey nodded. “He said he’s helping me get over my trauma.”

“Yeah, that’s not just bullshit, that’s abuse.”

“I’ve been trying to figure that out. It doesn’t feel like abuse when it’s mostly words. Like, I actually was abused before...”

Holy fuck. “Casey, honey, that’s still abuse. If something ever triggers you, you should take care of yourself by safewording immediately. But more importantly, if your partner even suspects that they might be triggering you, they should stop immediately. That’s what real Doms and Daddies do.” He wasn’t sure what the word starting with D had been for earlier, but it didn’t matter. “You were right in calling bullshit.”