Page 16 of Love Lessons: Expanded Edition

Chapter 3

Landon

Landon slammed his car door and ran into his house. He’d tried to do too much, between finding a birthday gift for one of the littles who’d be at the munch this morning and then going for a longer run at his favorite park. He usually took a path around his neighborhood, but he loved the scenery and gentle slopes of the park when he was out in that direction anyway.

Unfortunately, now he was late.

He slipped into the shower, trying not to think about the intense Dom who he’d met last month. Dustin had been adorably earnest and completely honest about being new to things. And also hot. And Deaf.

He’d texted a couple times in the past month. Just to say thank you for organizing the munch, and twice more when he’d started reading the links Landon sent. It wasn’t a lot, but Landon liked feeling appreciated and recognized by someone who’d caught his eye.

It wasn’t like Landon lacked for play partners. There seemed to be an endless supply, and he was happy to try just about anything.

There was something about Dustin that was different. Maybe it was just that he used ASL, so communicating with him was a delight instead of a hurdle. It was such a direct language, with so much eye contact and emotion. And what Dustin projected was pure desire.

It was even more than that, though. It was his coiled intensity. His sharp gaze, the tightness of his posture as he leaned forward, as if perpetually ready to attack. He’d followed Landon with his eyes all day, staring longer than most men would.

It felt like he saw more of Landon than he wanted to allow, an equally terrifying and delicious possibility.

Landon slipped a soapy hand between his legs, letting his imagination run free.

From the first moment in the doorway, Dustin had devoured Landon with his eyes. When he’d traced down Landon’s collar bone with his gaze, he’d almost felt it as a physical touch.

It was only later, when they entered the restaurant, that he seemed to reel himself in and act civilized.

Landon didn’t want civilized.

He moved his hand faster.

When they were talking, later, Landon had enjoyed brushing up against him and watching his muscles clench and his breath draw in in response. He’d even flirted a little harder with some of his other friends just to see Dustin’s eyes flare.

Landon loved playing cat and mouse, and he was hoping the cat would catch him soon. Maybe today at the munch.

Which, he realized abruptly, he was now going to be truly late for. He quickly washed his hair and then added conditioner. It needed to sink in for a few minutes, so maybe he could just…

He brought his slippery hand back down to his cock, envisioning Dustin standing over him, an expertly wielded flogger in his hand. Not that Dustin was ready for that now, and might never be, but it was Landon’s fantasy and he could imagine whatever he wanted.

He jerked himself, feeling the flash of glorious pain as the flogger he imagined bit into his shoulders. He cried out, breath heavy.

Dustin’s face floated into his vision, stern and commanding. Come, he signed.

Landon let himself float away.

Getting ready for the munch after that wasn’t nearly as much fun. Landon looked longingly at the new dress he’d been planning to wear. It was red and exposed most of his shoulders, clingy at the top and then flaring out in a sensual flow at his hips. He loved how it felt swirling around his thighs.

He needed a Lena day. He’d been planning a Lena day, since he hadn’t had one for a while. Lena was just as much a part of him as Landon, and he hated that he had to schedule his gender presentation instead of just going with the flow.

Munches were one of the few places where he could fully be himself, showing up with whatever gender he felt like that morning and expecting people to make the switch with him. If someone new had issues with it, he could count on other group members to fill them in, so he didn’t have to deal with the exhaustion of explaining it. The munch had more straight people than queer, but there were enough queer, trans, and genderqueer folks that he felt at home.

He dreamed of coming out at work, but honestly… twelve-year-olds? They could barely handle their own bodies and identities, let alone his. His principal, for all that she still hadn’t gotten back to him about progress on keeping the ASL program, would probably be more or less fine with it.

There were definitely a few gay and lesbian teachers at his school who were out, and he admired them for being role models to the kids. It was more that explaining himself all the time was annoying, and he’d really rather be talking about photosynthesis or the Pythagorean theorem. Or even talking with his students about their own lives and choices, which was a lot more important to him than his own identity.

And, to be honest, it was always a little bit scary being overtly feminine with a male-shaped body. People who were read as female could wear suits and ties and look like business professionals. When people who were read as male wore dresses, they were mistreated too often for him to feel completely safe. So, he didn’t venture out as Lena unless he already knew the people and spaces that he’d be in.

Between Escape, his queer teacher’s group, hanging out with his sister, and the munch, though, he felt like he had a lot of other spaces for that freedom in his life.

He didn’t necessarily have a lot of time, though. And Lena’s clothing took time.