Page 9 of Dear Daddy, Please Want Me

But as soon as he got into a relationship, he’d find himself demanding all of his partner’s time and energy and attention. Being needy. Greedy. Those were the worst accusations.

He’d thought that was supposed to be the point of Daddy/boy relationships, but apparently there was cute-needy and annoying-needy. He was the latter one.

There it was. He wanted a Daddy who would spoil him, and it was looking more unlikely, or maybe impossible, with each passing year.

He zipped through the streets of the Pearl, Portland’s downtown, grateful that the rain had let up for long enough to make it to the office. The damp pavement and small puddles would still leave specs on the bottom of his jeans, but it was unavoidable.

Ugh. Maybe he should consider vanilla dating. There were a few guys at shul who were cute, but… no, he really couldn’t go down that path again. But where did that leave him?

He’d thought a few times about making a profile on Cuffd, but that just seemed too weird. There was no way that Christy wouldn’t find it and tease him mercilessly. And using a competitor’s app felt disloyal.

He forced his thoughts away from that sad line of reasoning and took note of the world around him. Sunlight gleamed off the streets and rainbows swirled in the oily residue. A surprisingly hardy cluster of pansies brought a burst of color to the small yard in front of one apartment building.

It was just a tiny patch of garden, but he was still envious of it. He loved the whole process of planting and weeding, watering and tending.

He’d love to have a house with a yard. Rooms full of sunlight and books and cozy furniture. And he could probably afford it. But the idea of it, having a whole house rattling around him by himself felt like admitting defeat.

That didn’t mean that he couldn’t imagine having his own garden. While he was dreaming, he might as well add a Daddy to take care of him and maybe a dog to greet him at the door.

But those were pipe dreams. Real estate was way too expensive, dogs needed space, and he’d learned that Daddies rarely took a second look at him.

Back to square one.

At least he loved his job. And if he enjoyed hanging out with his boss a little too much, well… a boy could always dream.

* * *

When Levi reached the front door of the office building, Saul was standing just behind the glass. He was looking at his phone, which gave Levi an extra moment to observe him.

Surprisingly, he was dressed down in a long-sleeve t-shirt that read “blood, sweat, and code” and a pair of dark jeans.

Except on a few days when they were doing sprints or special events and everyone in the company got a t-shirt, Saul dressed impeccably in well-cut suits and ties. That extra level of power and separation always fed into Levi’s arousal.

Seeing Saul in a faded cotton shirt was intimate. It made Levi remember that they were going to be the only two people in the building. No matter how much he told himself to act professionally, he couldn’t fight down the attraction. He wanted to touch.

He tapped on the glass and Saul looked up, startled. The moment he recognized Levi, his dark eyes crinkled and his full lips widened into a grin.

Was Levi wrong to think that smile was something special? It felt special.

Saul pressed the button to unlock the door, then darted back to greet him. “Hey, thanks so much for coming in. It means a lot to me.” He reached out like he was going to push open the door, just as Levi gripped it himself and started to tug it open.

The wind was fighting with the door and Saul was blocking most of the frame, and he stepped the wrong way and stumbled against him. By the time he got inside, they were awkwardly tangled up together.

No, not awkwardly at all. Because Saul was somehow holding his wrist through his heavy rain jacket and had one arm wrapped around his back to guide him in.

Levi let himself be guided a couple steps into the warm lobby. He towered over Saul by at least six inches, but the position made him feel small and protected. If Saul slipped his hand down a little lower, it would be right at the small of his back. Was that on purpose or just some unconscious Dom thing? Levi wished he weren’t wearing a coat so he could feel it more.

Levi had to remind himself to breathe.

“Sorry about that. I was just trying to get the door for you.”

“I’ll let you get it next time,” he heard himself say.

He could feel his cheeks start to burn and hoped that it would just look like a reaction to the cold. That wasn’t what he meant to say at all. Correcting it seemed like it would be even worse.

Saul quickly stepped away, pulling out his card to open the next set of double doors. The silence between them hung heavy. What had even happened?

In his dreams, Saul would push him up against the wall and kiss him, but in reality Levi had just embarrassed himself in front of his sexy boss. God, just because they worked at a kink company didn’t mean that Saul thought of him as anything but an employee.