Page 138 of Whirlwind

Charlie nodded. “I didn’t think I had a choice.” Even among lesbian couples, it was all she’d ever seen back then.

Carla lifted her hand and brushed a kiss over the knuckles. It was tender, but shockingly arousing. Those soft lips just brushing against her skin, showing wordlessly what she could have if she had the courage to reach for it.

And yet Carla wasn’t initiating anything. Just listening and giving her the time to filter through all of it. When the quiet stretched between them, Carla finally asked, “So how did Whirlwind start?”

“My mother got married again and her husband hated the farm. My siblings didn’t want to keep it, I couldn’t manage on my own, and there wasn’t anywhere else for me to go. When she sold it off, though, she said that the profits belonged as much to her children as to her, even though I hadn’t been there for a decade.” Charlie blinked again, clearing the dampness from her eyes. She was not going to cry.

“It wasn’t a lot, but it was enough to make a down payment and take out a loan. I knew how to bartend, and I wanted a place where I could be myself and date who I wanted. I wanted to make that space for everyone who didn’t have it. That’s why I didn’t go to New York or L.A. I wanted a city big enough to support a queer bar, but small enough to be a resource for folks who might be driving 4 hours from out in the sticks. Folks who couldn’t make it to the bigger cities or maybe didn’t want to.”

Carla turned Charlie’s palm over and traced the lines across it. It felt like a kiss, intimate and sweet. “You did exactly that. You know, I even tell my high schoolers about Whirlwind, let them know that it’s waiting for them if they can get through a couple more years.”

“Really? Charlie turned the thought over in her mind, welcoming the distraction. “We have trouble with minors trying to sneak in to buy booze, but I never thought… I mean, young kids come in with their parents. But maybe we could have some teen events? Let them in to hang out and eat, and just card people when they order.” She was already starting to get ideas.

Carla pulled Charlie away just enough that they could see each other. His smile was glorious, and Charlie had put it there. “Would you? That would be amazing. Even if it’s early in the afternoon, they just need a place to go and be themselves.” His enthusiasm sparkled. It was just so visible how much his students meant to him, and she felt an answering glow.

It was just one more thing that made him perfect.

“Yeah, that’s um… would you help with that?” She wasn’t sure why she felt shy asking, since he knew what his answer would be. It was just that it would mean seeing more of him, having him around more in her space, working on something powerful and personal together.

Another hope that she couldn’t allow to get too far ahead of itself.

Carla squeezed her hand. “I would be honored. You know I’m there every day anyway.”

“I don’t see why,” Charlie grumbled. She could clearly see his interest now, but she still wasn’t quite ready to claim it. She didn’t want to curse things. And there was more that she still had to share.

“Because you’re strong and sexy and caring. Because I think there’s something between us. Because kissing you took my breath away and made me greedy for more. And finally, because you opened Whirlwind to be able to date who you wanted to date, and I don’t think you’ve done that yet.”

“I…” God, he was frank. Was all of that true? He seemed so earnest.

Thinking about who she wanted to date… She certainly hadn’t dated anyone seriously since Lacey. She’d had one-night stands when she was young. But it was always too complicated and sooner or later, she couldn’t give her partners what they wanted. It had been a decade since she’d even tried.

She wasn’t sure that it would be any different now. She hadn’t changed.

Could she admit that she imagined strong arms wrapped around her? That she wanted someone who was firm and in control, when she’d fought so hard to be strong herself? Who would she even be?

“I don’t think this is going to work.” She hated to do it, but she pulled away from Carla’s arms.