Page 26 of The Hummingbird’s Gift

Ro drew in a deep breath. He could do this. Tier had liked everything he’d suggested so far. He went through options in his head. Maybe not anything too weird or…

Tier pinched his nipple, the new pain layering on top of the bruises from last night. “Ouch!”

“You’re thinking too hard. Tell me one.”

He loved that stern voice so much. The way that Tier took charge of him was so much better than anything he’d imagined. It made him feel brave. “Well,” he drew the word out into several syllables, “sometimes I imagine that I, um, bring you something in your office. And you, um, have me suck you off under your desk while you eat it.”

Tier sucked in a sharp breath, his eyes burning. “It sounds like I need to set up a home office. I’m sure I could get a lot done that way. Maybe keep you down there for hours, while I take phone calls.”

Ro nodded, though he couldn’t look up. That was all part of it. Being ignored, especially, while he provided a service. And maybe the thrill of risking discovery. He could feel Tier’s hardness against his hip. He got the sense that Tier understood.

“Alright, now a clean one.”

That proved to be harder. Instead of having too many choices, he had too few. The fantasy was literally just being with Tier, anywhere, and enjoying a meal that Ro had prepared. It didn’t sound very interesting to describe. Although there was one little detail…

He wasn’t sure if he should bring it up. But Tier had said that they were moving in together, right? He had to at least ask.

“Um, I guess I just imagine sitting with you at the table over there.” He pointed behind him. “And, um, we’re eating dinner. And it’s… the two of us and May.”

Tier nodded encouragingly.

“And um… then after dinner, we read her stories and put her to bed because she, um… lives with us?”

Ro looked away. Tier didn’t say anything for a long time.

Ro wished he could take it back now. Maybe wait a few weeks until they at least got to know each other better as partners. No one wanted a kid around during their first few weeks—or years—of a relationship.

Ro felt Tier’s fingers on his chin and let him tilt his face upward. “Do you want to adopt her?”

“I do. I mean, kids are a lot of work, but she’s so smart and curious and she loves to go with me to the farm. And she could go to preschool this year, and by next year she’ll be in kindergarten. I guess that’s during the day, though, but we could get a babysitter sometimes. Ugh. I’m sorry I’m babbling.” He sounded like Declan.

“I don’t know if she would like me,” Tier finally said. “I don’t know much about kids. And I work a lot, so it would be more work for you.”

“No, she’ll love you. I promise. She even loves Geir. And, um, I think you might decide to leave work earlier if there’s someone at home, right? Maybe, um, delegate more?” They’d had the conversation about delegation before, but Ro never won.

“Someone at home?” Tier asked teasingly. “I think I might be convinced. And, um… I’d like to meet May properly. If she likes me then… I guess we’re going to be parents.”

Ro threw his arms around Tier’s neck, rocking the chair back dangerously. “Really? You really want to? You’re sure?” He kissed everywhere that he could reach.

Tier laughed, a loud booming laugh that Ro rarely heard. Hopefully he’d be hearing a lot of it. “Yes, really. The Chief and the Guide are supposed to have children, anyway, for the balance of the tribe. Come on over to the table and we can talk about it. I don’t think there’s any neat way to eat omelets on the chair.”

Ro leapt up and grabbed the plates. May was going to be his! There were probably all sorts of things to figure out and discuss, but he was certain that Tier would love her. Though that did raise another question.

He asked it as soon as they got settled at the table. “Do you really think I can be the Guide? I mean, I feel like a heart-singer, but that doesn’t mean I actually am. Like, I just feel like the gods made a mistake.”

Tier had no hesitation in his reply. “I have absolute confidence in you as the Guide. You’ve already been doing a lot of that work, as I think you know. You do it well. As for the gods making a mistake… have you ever considered maybe going on another vision quest? I haven’t heard of it happening before, but maybe something would change.”

Ro’s shoulders slumped. “I did, actually. I asked the gods to help me understand, and that’s how I got my coyote form.” He had seen it as a gift, but also a disappointment. Coyotes were wise, but also tricky. It had felt like he was the one being tricked. “I asked again a few years later, actually. I’d kind of forgotten.”

“Oh? And what did you experience? If you’re willing to share it with me.”

“All I can remember was that I was talking to a hummingbird. It buzzed all around me and at the time it made so much sense. But when I came back, I couldn’t remember any of it. I discussed it with Askuwheteau, and he reminded me that hummingbirds are messengers. He thought that I might have to wait to discover the message. I never did, though. And I didn’t receive any other gifts.”

Ro took a few bites of omelet, giving himself a moment to think. When he looked down at his plate, it was suddenly gone. He’d been hungrier than he thought.

“You know, Geir’s nickname for Declan is Hummingbird,” Ro thought aloud. “He’s been painting hummingbirds all over their house, it sounds like.” He couldn’t wait to see Geir’s plain dreary house, completely transformed by Declan’s artistry.

Tier started to say something, but Ro waved him off. “Hang on… I think I just figured something out. I think… Declan was the hummingbird I was waiting for.” He could see all the pieces coming together. “His message was… that I didn’t have to be a strength-sharer, just because that was what was assigned to me. That's what I was supposed to understand. That I could choose.