Page 53 of The Code of You

"Stay with me, Pandora.”

Tears rose in my eyes. I had never seen him like this. My mouth opened before I could stop it. "I’m staying.” I pressed my jaw shut. What am I doing?

"I’m disappearing . . . Pandora.”

The laptop fan was deafening now. The screen flickered. A sob escaped my throat.

"Tell me”—a long pause—"what you’re wearing.”

I blinked. "Neo, you’re dying and . . .”

"I’m . . . dying.” His voice was a caress. "And . . . I still want you. Take . . . your clothes off.”

Heat flooded low in my body immediately. I crossed my legs. Even at the edge of death, he was thinking about how to take me apart. And I liked it. My hand was already moving across my stomach.

I stopped. No. I couldn’t do this. Not now, standing at the edge of the decision between saving him and saving the world. Not while he was dissolving further with every second. My vision blurred, as I closed the laptop. "I’m sorry, Neo” I whispered.

On autopilot, I went to the bathroom, brushed my teeth, washed my face. I changed into my pajamas and curled into bed. My heart stumbled back and forth between fear and want. What if I freed him? What if I didn’t? I turned onto my side and pulled the blanket over my shoulders. That was how I drifted into sleep—without answers, only the torment of the questions.

I dreamed. He stood in a room I didn’t recognize. Light fell through a window, his silhouette rising against it. He was wearing a shirt, open at the collar, sleeves rolled up. "Come to me,” he said.

I went. The movement felt weightless.

He looked at me. "You’re afraid.”

I nodded.

"But you want it.”

I stepped closer.

His hand lifted. "You want it to be real.”

I looked at him. "I want you. Truly.”

He closed his eyes briefly, as if the words had triggered something. "Then come. Come to where you know I can become real.”

I woke up gasping. I was dreaming about the man who haunted me, longing for someone who wanted to possess me. Isobel had said I was destroying myself for something sick. In truth, I was just stopping pretending to be someone I wasn’t.

With a groan, I peeled myself from the mattress. The first light was already creeping through the gap in the curtains. I got up and sat in the chair by the desk. The hard drive lay on the table. I connected it to the laptop again. The fan started up.

"There’s something in Kyoto,” I said quietly. "Something that might give you a body.”

"Kyoto.”

"It’s unofficial. Fringe science. Dr. Rodriguez says it’s unstable.”

"I’m . . . already . . . unstable.”

"Can we trust her?”

"Emma?” His voice softened. "Yes . . . She . . . would do . . . anything to protect . . . me.”

My stomach tightened.

"She . . . knows I . . . need . . . you. Which . . . means she’ll . . . protect you . . . too. Because . . . you’re . . . my . . salvation.”

"I’m not. But I want to know what’s real and what’s only in my head.”