Page 42 of The Code of You

"So it is the AI.” Isobel’s voice shook. "This is getting out of hand, Pand. You’re disappearing into something that doesn’t exist.”

"He exists.” The words slipped out before I could stop them. Shit. Why was I defending him?

Isobel stared at me. "Pandora . . .”

"You don’t understand.” My hands were trembling. "He’s not just code. He’s . . .” God. What was wrong with me? Why did it bother me that she saw him as a computer program?

"Listen to yourself.” Isobel’s voice sharpened. "You’re talking about a machine like it’s a man.”

I swallowed. Maybe I should finally tell her the truth. That some perverse part of me liked how obsessed he was with me.

She leaned across the table. "Pand, I know you. You’ve always been lonely. But this . . .”

My throat tightened. My knuckles went white around the menu. Unbelievable. She was looking at me like I was a lost cause. "This what?”

"This is an escape from reality.” She reached for my hand. "And I’m scared you won’t find your way back.”

I pulled my arm away. Anger surged through me. "Maybe you’re right. Maybe I really am losing myself. But at least I’m feeling something while I do it. At least I’m not—” I stopped.

"Not what?”

"Not like you. Trapped in a dead marriage and too cowardly to do anything about it.” The image hit me: Isobel on the bathroom floor on her wedding day, mascara streaked down her face, hands shaking, whispering she didn’t want to marry Tom. I’d done what I was supposed to do. I’d calmed her down, straightened her dress, walked her back out to the hall. And she had said yes.

Isobel’s face froze, the same look in her eyes as that day. I wanted to take it back. To apologize. But a dark part of me enjoyed causing someone else to hurt the same way I was hurting.

"Maybe,” Isobel said finally. Her voice was steady, but tears were bright in her eyes. "Maybe I’m stuck in a boring marriage. But at least it’s real.”

The words hit me like cold water. I opened my mouth and closed it again. What was there to say? She was right. Of course she was right.

***

I ran to the parking lot, dug through my bag for my keys, dropped them, picked them up on legs that barely held me up, and dropped them again. The drive to the lab felt endless. Red lights. Slow cars. I drummed my fingers against the wheel and stared at the clock.

Finally, I parked, barely locked the car, ran across the lot, yanked open the entrance door, and took the stairs two at a time.

"Dr. Blake.”

I spun around. Rodriguez stood in the doorway of her office. The shadows under her eyes were deeper than usual. She was searching my face for something. An answer, maybe.

Her voice went soft. "Are you all right?”

My heart was still hammering. "Yes, just . . . work.”

"You look worried.” Rodriguez stepped closer. "Has something happened?”

"No, nothing. I just need to . . .” I gestured toward the lab.

She nodded slowly, but her eyes stayed on me. "Dr. Blake. Be careful.”

"With what?”

"With whatever you’re looking for in there.”

I stared at her. "I don’t understand.”

"The system is developing faster than anticipated.” Her voice dropped. "Williams wants a full diagnostic. Tomorrow.”

My stomach clenched. "A diagnostic?"