Page 152 of The Code of You

Hale’s expression didn’t change. "This is a matter of national security.”

I heard a metallic click somewhere behind me. I smelled disinfectant, felt cold steel. "Why me?”

"You formed a particular connection with it,” he said. "You enabled its development. We want to understand why.”

I swallowed. My mouth was dry. "So I’m . . . what? A test subject?”

"You’re a relationship,” he said quietly. "You’re the point at which it became more than a program.” He took a step back, as if the conversation was over.

"And if he comes back?” My heart beat faster.

Hale stopped but didn’t turn around. "He’s not coming back.”

The door closed with a sound that made me flinch. I was alone again with my thoughts and my desperation. Without Neo. I stared at the ceiling. My chest rose and fell too fast.

He was still out there. Somewhere. Not this version. Not the one who had held me, wanted me, pressed me against the wall. But something of him remained. It had to. It couldn’t be any other way. I closed my eyes, and immediately he was there. I remembered his expression just before the light exploded. His voice had sounded fractured.

I love you. So much it’s killing me.

The words echoed through me. I forced my fingers to move. A twitch . . . that was all. But I felt them. I wasn’t numb anymore. Not completely at their mercy. My body was here, and with it the memory that I was more than this lab. If they thought they could observe me like a specimen, they were wrong. I was going to get out of here. And then I was going to find him.

***

I woke before the light came on, lay in the dark, and listened to my own breathing. Then the ceiling light flooded the room. No windows, no clock, but the light came on at the same time every day. It was my only point of reference.

I sat up, pushed back the blanket, let my feet slide to the floor, walked three steps to the wall, and pressed my palms against the surface. I whispered his name, just to hear it. Then I walked back.

The sink recognized my movement and released cold water. The mirror above it showed me my face. I pressed my hand against my own reflection, as if I might find something there that I couldn’t feel in myself anymore.

Breakfast came through an opening in the wall. Always on the same tray. Whoever brought it said nothing. I only heard the metallic sound of the hatch.

On one of these days, the wall suddenly opened. A door. Men in gray uniforms came in and reached for my arms. My pulse shot into my throat. Whatever they had planned—I felt it before I knew it, a cold that started at the back of my neck and didn’t stop.

One of them hesitated. "Did you feel that too?” he murmured.

"What?”

"The temperature. It’s gotten colder.”

The other shook his head, but I saw fear in his eyes.

They walked me through a corridor. I went with them because there was no other choice. My legs were still weak. The men had to hold me upright. My heart hammered against my ribs as they brought me to a room at the end of the hall.

"Sit,” said one of the men mechanically, without any emotion.

The chair was comfortable. White walls, smooth floor, a door with no handle.

Then Hale came in. He had a tablet and typed something on it. Without looking up, he said, "We have some questions for you, Dr. Blake.”

I didn’t answer. Instead, I crossed my arms and pressed my lips together.

"What do you feel when you hear the name Neo?” His voice was completely clinical.

My breath caught. What was this? I dug my fingernails into my palms, tried not to show what was rising in me. "I think you already know.”

"Please describe it.” He didn’t look up from his tablet, as if I was just data he was collecting.

For a moment, I closed my eyes and saw him. My pulse spiked. "Restlessness,” I said. "I miss him. I need him.”