Page 93 of Split You Open

I’m not sure if that would make any of this better or worse. But the thought of Ledger loving me—it’s been a wish I’ve had for so long...

Santi looks at me, his brows furrowing in confusion. Then he looks around at the others.

“Wait, you really can’t see it? This was love, plain and simple. He just didn’t know how to show it the right way. Yeah, this was all super shitty but like, I get it to an extent. I didn’t know how to express mine either at first. When I realized I loved you, cariño, I started cumming in your body wa—” His lips slam shut as the confession, his face warming in embarrassment.

My mouth drops open.

“You were cumming in her body wash?!” Wes bellows, his hand dropping away from my neck.

“Ah…” Santi studies Wes’s face as the large man takes a step towards him. “Maybe…? It depends on what you’ll do with the information if I confirm it.”

Rhett groans loudly. “Santi, why would you do that?”

“It wasn’t only in her stuff. I did it to your stuff too when you moved in.”

Rhett’s mouth drops open, just like mine has. He recovers quicker and lunges for Santi before Wes can get to him. Rhett’s fingers wrap around Santi’s neck and he squeezes.

“I’ve been wearing your cum on me!?” he roars. “Damn it, Santi!”

“That’s a disgusting violation!” Wes shouts.

“It’s how I express my love!” Santi laughs, completely unperturbed by Rhett’s throttling.

Wes and Rhett start shouting their objections, but I don’t let them go on for long. I raise a hand and when that doesn’t silence anyone, I call out, “ENOUGH!”

All three men fall silent and turn to look at me.

“Santi—” I point at him with a scowl. “—stop cumming in my body wash. Or anywhere you haven’t told us. If I find out you’re still doing it after this, I’m going to personally punish you.”

He gasps in horror. Then a mischievous smile spreads across his face. “What kind of punish⁠—”

“Cut it out,” Wes hisses angrily at him.

“As for Ledger…” My voice trails off as I consider our situation.

A churning of something malevolent and delightful brews in my gut as I think of Ledger.

He wanted me.

He still wants me.

For years Ledger fought against claiming me for his own—scared of the rift it would cause between him and his best friend but more scared of what he wants from me. He fought his sanity until he couldn’t any longer.

Ledger plotted for a future where we’d both be together—not the way I’d hoped but one that he deemed as acceptable. That plan led him to lay waste to a life I built. He schemed, hoping to give me something better than what I had.

Maybe it’s insanity.

Maybe it is a warped type of love.

Hell, it could be an addiction for me like Wes suggested.

I don’t care.

Now that I know Ledger doesn’t want me dead, that my father is alive, and all of this was for some twisted sense of hunger for me—the devastation that’s been beating on my soul recedes until that churning of morbid excitement takes over completely.

Ledger had his chance to bend his ideal future into place.

Now it’s my turn and it’s going to be so much better.