Page 90 of Split You Open

Rhett scoffs as he turns and heads down the hallway. His voice drifts back into the room as he calls out, “As if Santi would let that happen.”

Twenty-One

Blair

I’m up before everyone else the following morning.

The fact that I managed to sleep at all is a testament to how safe I feel in Wes’s arms and with Rhett pressed up against my back. With my ear pressed against Wes’s chest, I listen and focus on his slow heartbeat. The soothing, rhythmic beating is helping to keep my racing thoughts from overwhelming me.

My heart isn’t beating nearly as slowly, though.

Last night, nightmares and dreams collided. All the events that unfolded since that stupid kiss I forced on Ledger played out like some strange melodramatic play that I couldn’t look away from. Some moments were sweet, others full of heartache. They all centered around Ledger, though.

Even now, awake, I can’t stop thinking of him. The resentment that’s been a persistent, present shadow encapsulating my heart is still there. All these years trying to assimilate into the real world—all up in flames. It had been so fucking hard but I was doing it!

The resentment mixes with rage that swells up and nearly consumes me.

It’s all doused, however, by a sickly sweet, poisonous glee.

I try to ignore it. Maybe it’ll go away? I don’t want to feel anything other than rage and resentment. Ledger put a hit on me and Dad. What fucking asshole does that for people he calls family?

Not only that, he stalked me for years.

That’s crazy.

He stole my stuff and kept it close.

That’s even more insane.

Ledger plotted on how to incorporate me into his life.

What was he thinking?

He hand-picked men that he deemed worthy of me.

That’s strange, but weirdly thoughtful…

Ledger yearned for me from afar.

It takes a second to realize that I’m smiling but when I notice, it’s wiped away immediately. What the hell is wrong with me?

I can’t like the lengths Ledger’s gone to for me. That’s just… it’s so wrong. So very, very wrong… And yet, I’m smiling again.

Shaking my head, I try to dispel that twisted glee attempting to bubble up in my chest.

I fight the return of the smile by thinking of Dad.

That does the trick. The urge to smile and that horribly warm and bubbling feeling in my chest subside. Not completely but enough for me to feel the anger and resentment again. I cling to those feelings, knowing they’re more appropriate.

Where is Dad now? Dead? God… no. I nuzzle my face against Wes’s bare chest in an attempt to burrow away from the wretched thought. Dad has to be alive. My heart won’t survive the loss otherwise.

I squeeze my eyes shut.

He’s alive, he’s alive, I chant in my head.

If he is and Ledger really texted him about the situation, what did he think about the news that Dixie has a vendetta against him? I’ve never heard the name before. If Dad had a nemesis, why wouldn't he tell me about him? Is he after Dixie now? Does he have an idea who this man even is?

Did Ledger even tell him, or was that a lie?