Page 86 of Split You Open

Blair lets out a soft sigh before taking another sip of her hot chocolate. “What’s there to talk about? You heard Ledger. We got the information we were looking for.”

“Yeah, I heard him, now I want to hear from you. What are you thinking?”

For a second, I think I see fear flicker across her face. The expression disappears before I can be sure, though.

“Honestly? I… I don’t know. Nothing changes unless I know where Dad is and if he’s okay.”

I nod. “That’s fair.”

Her eyes slide up to my face. “What are you thinking?”

I suppose I should’ve expected to be asked but now that I have been, I’m not quite sure of the answer myself. It takes a few long moments for me to gather my thoughts and construct an answer.

“I’m relieved that I know my friend well enough that my suspicions about this not being about wanting to see you dead boded true,” I tell her carefully. “Nonetheless, I’m disgusted and appalled by what he’s done and quite frankly, shaken. And⁠—”

I press my lips together, choking on the rest of my words.

Blair’s eyes narrow as she studies my face. “And what?”

Grimacing, I cave with a sigh. “I think I can almost understand his reasoning for why he did it. Ledger, he’s…. Well, you probably know him just as well as I do—if not better. Have you ever known him to be affectionate? I haven’t. But I do know the lengths he’ll go to help others. Was this an extreme length? Yeah. But he did it with mostly decent intentions. I don’t agree with it, but I understand it. He cares for you, in his own fucked up way.”

I brace myself for her anger, outrage, or horror. Instead, fear returns—there and gone again.

I frown. “What is it?”

“I… I don’t know, Wes. I think there’s something wrong with me. I don’t know how to put it into words but… Yeah, I guess I kind of agree with you. Isn’t that crazy?” Her eyes slide away from my face and her shoulders curl inward ever so slightly—a pose I’ve never seen her take before. It makes her so much smaller in my hold. In a voice so quiet she adds, “It shouldn’t make any sense, and maybe it doesn’t completely but I can see that his motives weren’t malicious. God, what does that say about me that I understand the mind of a psychopath?”

“There’s nothing wrong with you, baby girl. You’re perfect. This is a complicated situation and you’re having complex feelings about it. That’s normal.”

Blair says nothing to this, falling into deep thought.

She slowly sips her hot chocolate. As she does, incrementally, her body starts to unwind. She begins to lean a little more into me and I hold her tighter. I wish I could ease her turmoil somehow. Ledger really did a number on her.

Not that he intended to.

In fact, this is the exact opposite of what Ledger wanted for Blair. He didn’t want to see her hurting or upset. He brought her here to make her life better. Not only that, Ledger knew I would be able to help make that happen.

And here I am, attempting to be there for her—just as he intended—and I’m happy to do so because I love Blair Shelmore.

Every day up until my last breath, I’ll make sure Blair knows there’s always someone in her corner. I’ll hold her when she needs it. I’ll fight to be the first one to tell her that she’s loved every morning and just before she falls asleep at night. I’ll hold her, like I am now, when it feels like her world is caving in around her, so she knows she’s not alone.

I’ll do anything for her.

It’s hard to hold a grudge against the man who brought this woman into my life.

Ledger has gone through great lengths to get what he wanted. Yet, while he covets her more than anything else, he kept his promise to me. He hasn’t touched her. Sure, he hovered close by, watching her with longing, but he never caved. Not once. That’s some sort of super strength—being able to have the one thing you want within reach and not snatching it up. The sheer will power to keep his hands to himself must’ve been excruciating.

Now that I’ve had a taste of her, I don’t think I would’ve had that same self-control.

“I think what I feel the worst about is that he involved all of you,” Blair says after a long stretch of silence. “Ledger forced me onto you.”

Instantly, I stiffen.

This is what she’s been thinking about?

Oh, fuck that.

Reaching up, I grab Blair’s chin and force her to look back up at me. Her dark brown eyes trail over my face. There’s so much pain in them that for a moment, it becomes mine and I can’t breathe. My thumb skims over her chin as I force myself to breathe for the both of us.