Page 171 of Split You Open

“You can’t go!” I snap, shoving at her again until I’ve pushed her up against the wall.

Blair’s eyes widen with surprise. “Why not?”

“Because I need you here!” My voice cracks as I try to suck in short gasps of air. I can’t seem to fill my lungs.

This can’t be happening to me. This is the second time I’ve been unable to control the tidal wave of helplessness, fear, and anxiety that crashes down over me. This is not the time to start having these breakdowns.

I can’t just fall apart like this.

The muscles in my chest constrict tighter until it’s painful.

“Rhett…?”

I grab a hold of Blair’s shoulders and lean on her, keeping her pinned against the wall as my chin drops to my chest.

The two of us were already split apart from the others before and it had been fucking awful. Just the thought of her dealing with something all on her own—without any of us—turns my veins to ice.

“I need you…” Gasp. “Here.” Gasp. “I can’t… can’t protect you if you’re not here.”

“Rhett.”

“Blair, please, don’t go,” I gasp out.

“Rhett, get off of me. You’re hurting me.”

I can’t protect you if you’re gone…

“Don’t go,” I repeat, my voice a broken whine.

I need you in my life.

“Don’t go.”

You can’t die and leave me like Abby did. If we’re together, you’ll be okay.

Suddenly, I’m shoved backwards. The move takes me by surprise and when I inhale sharply, I manage to fill my lungs. Blair strolls forward, her eyes pinned to my face, her expression hard.

“Hey,” she snaps, grabbing the front of my shirt and shakes me. “What the hell is going on?”

Rather than answer her with words, I do what Santi did to calm my nerves. I lean forward and kiss her. The minute our lips meet, I can feel the existential dread slowly retreating. The anxiety sticking to my soul is washed away and my lungs expand fully. This is exactly what I needed. My arms wrap around her body and I crush her to me.

Blair literally growls against my mouth before biting my bottom lip, drawing blood.

I jerk back, hissing in pain but grin as I stare down at her.

“Feel better?” she asks coolly.

“A bit.”

She raises a curious brow. “Want to tell me what that was all about?”

“Nope.”

Now that I’ve had a taste of her, now that I’m holding her, my mini panic attack feels a little ridiculous. I start to shake my head but Blair’s hand lets go of my shirt only to reach down to twist my nipple through it.

“Son of bitch!” I yelp as I leap back.

Blair chuckles. “Well, if you’re done freaking out on me, then I need to go. Dad hates to be kept waiting.”