Page 32 of Don’t Call Me Son

I lock my phone and let it drop to my chest. The early morning summer light is starting to peek through the blinds, soft and dim, the kind that says the sun will be up soon. I just stare at the ceiling.

Sex with Jay was… different. With Colt it was powerful, thrilling, and overwhelming; like being consumed. Colt figured me out so easily; saw every crack, every hidden piece of pain I’ve carried since Dad died and held me through it. I don’t love him, I know that, but I definitely felt lust; the thrill of the forbidden. The intensity of being wanted so fiercely by someone who shouldn’t want me at all.

But Jay… Jay’s been my best friend for years. He watched me go through Dad’s death. Now that I’m thinking about it, maybe I wasn’t as alone as I thought. Maybe I just pushed him away when he tried to be there. He’d text me late at night, video call even when I didn’t feel like talking; just so I wouldn’t be alone. He’d come round with snacks, and we’d watch movies in silence. He’s always supported me through college, telling me I’m too humble and quiet for my own good. Hell, Jay’s even joked before that he’s offended I never tried to flirt with him, knowing I’m bisexual.

I grin in the dark. Damn… maybe he wanted me to and just didn’t know it.

I turn my head and look at him. Jay’s on his side facing me, fast asleep, his dirty blonde hair a total mess. He’s got more muscle than me from all the gym time he puts in during his spare time. He doesn’t have family nearby, so he’s always had more freedom than me.

Colt has my mom; he’s happily married. But Jay and me… we’re both kind of alone. We’ve been friends for years; we know almost everything about each other. Maybe friends-to-lovers is more common than people think.

…

I must have finally fallen back asleep, because someone tickles my ribs and I jolt awake, sitting bolt upright. “Oh my god, what the fuck…”

Then I realise it’s just Jay. I deflate immediately, flopping back onto the bed with a groan. “Jay… why?”

He grins, still half-asleep himself. “I tried nudging you, but you were like the dead.”

I roll my eyes playfully and turn onto my side again.

Jay laughs. “It’s eleven, come on.”

I groan into the pillow. “Fine.”

I sit up, heart racing a little as the memories from last night hit me all over again. I rub my face and swing my legs off the bed. I’m glad Jay seems normal this morning; I wonder if he’s just going to act like last night was a drunken mistake or what.

I wander over to my duffel bag and pull out some clean, comfy shorts and a loose vest; it’s supposed to be really hot today. This is the kind of breezy vest footballers wear; I’m lean with a bit of muscle from running and weights, so I can pull it off. I run a hand through my messy hair and turn around, intending to grab my phone, but I jump when I see Jay just sitting on the bed staring at me.

I stare back. “Um… what are you doing?”

Jay blinks rapidly like he was lost in a daydream. “Oh… sorry. Uh, just… realising that I am definitely bisexual.”

I grin, blushing now. “Uh huh. And a perv.”

Jay scoffs but grins a little. “Shut up. You’re the leg-humper here, my man.”

I shake my head, laughing. “I need to call my mom.”

I reach for my phone and flop onto the couch and scroll to her number… but Jay speaks up. “Are you… leaving?”

I look at him with a frown. “Oh, I just thought… you wouldn’t want me here anymore. Like, I’ve been here for three nights already, and after last night…”

Jay shakes his head. “So, we have sex and you’re just bailing on me?”

I shake my head fast. “What? No. But, this is new to you. I thought you might want space to sort of… process a little.”

Jay stands up and walks over, kneeling in front of me. He rests his arms on my knees and looks up with those big blue eyes; it feels suddenly very intimate.

“Dude, I’m not having a crisis here. So I’m not straight like I thought. Who gives a shit?” He grins. “I fucked you and your ass felt so fuc…”

“Alright! Okay…” I choke, cutting him off. “I don’t need a recap. I was there.”

Jay laughs softly. “I meant it when I said you could stay for as long as you want. I’ve always been here for you, haven’t I?”

I nod. “Well, yeah, but…”

“No buts.” He winks. “Hell… maybe you’ll let me fuck you some more.”