Page 98 of Ex Somnis

I think about headlights in the rain, a gold-star tumbler full of ice water, and yellow roses. Darling. The careful way he pays attention.

Not a version of me, or a role, or what I can do for him.

Me.

“I’ve wanted you,” I whisper. “From the moment you hit me with your car.”

“That’s the worst declaration of want anyone has ever made,” he murmurs against my lips.

“But it’s true,” I argue before he captures my lips again for one last, unhurried kiss.

“You should go find him. Make sure you’re both done worrying.”

I make a guilty noise. “That’s not what I meant.”

“Darling.” His lips brush my temple.

“Yeah?”

“Tell Nevan I said hi.”

CHAPTER SIXTEEN

Lennon

It’s as easy as breathing, drifting into Nevan’s dreamscape.

I don’t know if it’s because I’ve been here before with Ridge, or if it’s just Nevan, but I’m still lying in Paul’s arms when I think of Nevan, still exhaling, and then I’m not.

I let my breadstick fingers glide through the clouds, which are the same as last time, soft and lit from below by nothing.

Nevan is on his swing with his long legs stretched out in front of him. When he sees me, his whole face does that thing.

That smile.

The unfocused one I’ve only seen on him here, the one that means he isn’t lucid.

“Hey, Nev,” I whisper.

“Hey, Lemon.”

Neither of us moves, the clouds drifting past us in lazy loops.

“I was just thinking about our kiss. That was a good kiss.”

My chest squeezes. “Yeah.”

“I can’t stop thinking about it.”

“Me either,” I admit.

His gaze is soft, unfocused. “I miss you.”

“I miss you too.” My voice comes out small. “I’m sorry. I didn’t want to hurt you.”

The smile fades a little around the edges, turning confused. “You didn’t.”

“The kiss.”