Page 30 of Ex Somnis

I don’t know if I know how to share her. Not because I’m territorial. I’ve never been possessive about anything in my life. I’ve always had to share everything, including space and what little attention we had.

That’s not the problem.

The problem is I’ve only started to believe I get to have her at all.

I don’t know if I’m big enough to hold that and the rest of it at the same time without one of them collapsing. Which is funny, considering I hit my head on doorframes for a living.

I look at the garden.

At the tree.

At the fairy lights.

Three.

I think about the parking lot. About how Ridge looked at her. The way Paul’s hand was at the small of her back. How Ridge wasn’t surprised by Paul or me being there, as if he’d already been doing some version of this calculation, and I was the last variable.

Everyone gets what they want, Ridge said. “I could have her when her eyes are closed. You could be what she needed when they’re open.”

I thought that was him being his weird self.

Maybe it wasn’t.

“God, I’m so damn stupid.”

“Don’t,” Jasper says immediately.

I look at him. “What?”

“Don’t call my brother stupid. I’ll hex you for it.”

“Rule two. We back each other’s hexes. No questions asked.”

I huff at the thought of Lennon’s rule, and my heart squeezes painfully.

“Does she know that?” I ask. “That she’s got three guys in her stars?”

Because if she knew and still ran from me?

“I may have introduced the idea to her, and she’s starting to figure it out.” Jasper tilts his head. “I think she’s known longer than she’s let herself know. She just needs…”

“Time.”

“And someone to tell her it’s okay.”

Is it okay, though?

“Are you okay?” Jasper looks genuinely worried. “What does it feel like, having this information?”

I honestly think about it.

“Like my life is falling apart.” I give him a fake smile. “Also, like maybe I should probably eat something.”

Damn, I’m craving lemonade and some muffins.

Jasper points at me. “That part is probably science.”

“Don’t ruin your brand.”