Page 191 of Ex Somnis

“The ring. The stimulation. The possibility I come in thirty seconds,” I clarify, needing to be absolutely sure she understands.

Her mouth twitches.

Mine doesn’t because I’m not joking.

“Yes. I want everything with you. The real you. All of it.”

“Then, yeah,” I say quietly. “Okay.”

She helps me out of my shirt and pants with careful hands, but her gaze is hot on me. She doesn’t hesitate or look sorry for me and doesn’t look away for even a second.

My cock is only half hard, heavy against my thigh. Insecurity flares hot and ugly in my chest, the familiar voice whispering that this broken, unreliable body isn’t good enough for her.

She leans down and kisses my stomach, soft and open-mouthed, then lower, right above the base of my cock. Her fingers wrap around me, stroking slowly.

I forget to breathe or even how to.

Nobody except me has done that in so long that my brain doesn’t know what to do with it.

Fuck.

“Lennon.”

“You’re so damn sexy,” she whispers.

Now I know what she meant when she said my words make her do stupid stuff, because I would do just about anything for her right now.

Speaking of…

I slide my hand between her thighs now that she’s kneeling beside me and push a finger into her heat. When I circle her clit with my thumb, she shudders and rocks against my hand.

“Ridge, I have to concentrate here,” she breathes out, voice shaky with pleasure.

“Same.” Her perfect pussy distracts me a little, but the insecurity spikes again when I see my cock still isn’t fully hard yet, a reminder that my body needs help to do what it used to do effortlessly.

“Do you have a cock ring here?” she asks, still working herself on my finger.

I moan when she squeezes me just right. “Nightstand drawer.”

She grabs the ring and lube I keep there and wastes no time squeezing a considerable amount of it into her palm, slicking me up with steady strokes. Every touch makes me twitch, but I’m still not fully there, and the familiar shame curls hot in my gut.

“I’m sorry it’s not easier. That you have to work this hard just to⁠—”

She cuts me off with a kiss. “Stop. I love this.” Her hand tightens around me, stroking more firmly, thumb gliding over the head. “I think it’s hot. You’re so big and pretty.”

The praise lands somewhere deep enough that I look away like a coward. I’ve spent eight years learning how to live with a body that doesn’t cooperate, never dreaming of someone ever telling me it was beautiful.

Lennon’s eyes are hungry on me, drifting from her hand working my cock up to my face and back down again.

Nobody has ever looked at me like that.

I make a noise, and Lennon’s gaze snaps to mine.

“Hey.” Her free hand catches my jaw gently while the other keeps pace. “There you are.”

I let out a rough laugh.

“Sweetheart, if you keep talking like that, I’m going to become completely insufferable.”