Page 125 of Ex Somnis

“Every fiber of my being is pulled toward you. Every minute. Since before I knew what was happening, since before I understood what it was. Something in me locked onto something in you, and I haven’t stopped moving toward you since.”

I want it to be true. God, I want it so badly it scares me.

But wanting something this much only to be wrong about it, I know what that feels like. I’ve been wrong before. The voicemail. My mother. All of it. I have a documented history of being the last to know.

“That’s not real.” My throat hurts. “That’s just the deal we made.”

He frowns. “The deal we made?”

“The deal we made about Tessa and me helping you build⁠—”

Ridge scoffs. “I know what you are talking about, but why would that pull toward you be the deal we made?”

“Because we made a soul contract, we⁠—”

“Jesus, Lenny.” Ridge laughs in my face. “That wasn’t a soul contract. I don’t know shit about them, but I know we would know if it were one.”

I stare at him. “What?”

“It was a deal. A regular deal.”

“No.”

“Yes.”

I shake my head. “No, because normal deals don’t do…” I gesture vaguely between us. “This.”

His gaze sharpens. “This?”

“The pull.”

“The pull?” Ridge goes rigid. “You’re feeling a pull?”

Something in his face shifts. It’s not surprise exactly but more like recognition, as if I’ve just confirmed something he already suspected, and that scares me more than the alternative.

What does he know that I don’t?

“I mean, yeah, I…”

He puts his hands on my shoulders, leaning down to stare into my eyes. “What do you mean? What pull?”

My pulse stumbles as I unconsciously press my hand to my chest. “I don’t know. I…”

“Lenny.” All the teasing vanishes from his expression. “Tell me.”

“There’s a pull.” I swallow, pressing my hand harder into my chest. “Here. And it pulls me toward you.”

“Toward me, how?”

“I don’t know.”

“You do.”

“I don’t.”

One finger comes to rest beneath my chin, tilting up my face. “Try. For me? Please?”

Ridge doesn’t say please. Ridge barely says thank you, and the fact that he’s looking at me like this, begging me to tell him what I’m feeling.