Page 191 of In Somnis

“We could do missionary,” he adds conversationally as he steps closer. “That way we can keep arguing.”

“You think this is a joke.” Irritation spikes. “Everything is a joke to you.”

“Lennon—”

“What we did,” I cut him off and cross my arms. “That’s a joke, too, is it?”

I hate how much I need the answer.

Because if it meant nothing to him, then I have managed to humiliate myself in yet another dimension, which feels frankly excessive.

He’s quiet for a beat, something moving behind his eyes that isn’t amusement. “As someone who enjoys fucking, safely, might I add…” A lollipop appears in his hand out of nowhere, and he unwraps it, promptly sticking it between his teeth. “… I’d say what happened was⁠—”

I shove him back against the wall before he can finish. My palm lands flat on his chest, and he goes easily, more surprised than resisting.

His eyebrows lift, and I reach up, yanking the lollipop out of his mouth.

“Don’t you dare make fun of me right now.”

He looks at the lollipop in my hand that I’m pointing at him, then at my face, and his gaze drops very deliberately down my body before he reaches out and takes it back. When he slides it between his lips again, his tongue curls against the candy.

A tiny, infuriating smile appears. “I wouldn’t dream of it, sweetheart,” he says mildly around the stick. “We can absolutely pretend I didn’t make you come around my fingers.” The grin widens when my thighs involuntarily press together at the memory. “Or that you didn’t look exactly like this when I did it.” He pulls the lollipop out of his mouth and taps it once against my lower lip. “It was only a dream, after all.”

The words land exactly the way he knew they would, and I feel the hurt of it move through me before I can get ahead of it. “I know it’s just a dream!” My voice cracks as I step back. “This is just a dream too. All of it.” I gesture at the street, the city, the door we stepped through somewhere behind us. “Everything I want is in a dream. Everything that feels real is a dream.”

And waking life keeps asking me to be grateful for crumbs as if that’s the same thing.

“Everything I⁠—”

My throat closes.

Mom.

Dad.

Tessa.

“It’s all just a dream. None of it is real. Not you, not me, not any of this, not a single person on this street.”

Silence slams down, and the entire city stops moving. Dozens of people turn toward us at the exact same time, staring.

“Shit.” Ridge goes stiff beside me. “Lennon,” he says under his breath. “Don’t move.”

“What?”

“Never…” He steps in front of me, shoving me back against the wall I’d just pinned him to, “… tell the background characters they’re fake.”

One of them takes a step forward.

Then another.

“Why?” I whisper.

“Because now… they have nothing to lose.”

The nearest one lunges, and Ridge turns, grabbing me hard and hauling me into his chest. His arms wrap around my head as he pushes me into the wall with his back to the crowd.

Shielding me.