Page 154 of In Somnis

She arches, every inch of her begging without words. The lollipop circles her navel. Her ribs. Her tits. I bring it up and trace her lips with it again, and she chases it, but when I pull it back, she frowns at me.

There.

A flicker.

The shift happens behind her eyes. I watch as the glass clears, awareness flooding back. She lifts her hand, stares at her fingers, before her gaze widens and snaps to mine, making me freeze, and every muscle locks up. I’m ready to step back, drop the lollipop, and put three feet of space between us, the second she decides this is too much, too weird, too me.

But Lennon is just panting, flushed pink from chest to cheeks, her eyes still blown dark and wide, but now they’re focused on me. She looks at the candy, then back at me, but she doesn’t move away, doesn’t tell me to fuck off. Then her arms move inward with the instinct to cover herself.

There she is.

“Hey,” I say it quietly and wait until her eyes find mine again. “Don’t.”

“I’m…” She stops and swallows, then puts an arm over her stomach. “This is…”

“Don’t hide. I already saw everything, and you’re beautiful. You with me?”

She nods, a small, shaky one.

Yeah, that’s not enough for what I want to do to you.

A nod from someone still finding their footing isn’t a yes, it’s just the absence of a no, and I don’t want the absence. I need her certainty. I want her asking, no, begging for me.

“Lennon, look at me. Are you lucid? Are you sure you know where you are, who’s touching you?”

Her eyes flick to mine again, clearer now, searching. She nods once more, firmer this time.

“Words, sweetheart. I need words.”

“Yes,” she breathes out. “I’m here. I’m lucid.” Then she adds, quieter, “I know it’s you.”

The way she says it, not surprised or embarrassed by that part, relaxes me a little.

“Do you want me to stop?”

She hesitates. And in the hesitation, I can see her doing the math—the self-consciousness on one side, the ache on the other. I don’t rush her. I wait.

“No. I need… God, I need⁠—”

“What do you need, Lennon?”

“Just, don’t stop.” Her voice cracks on the last word. “Please.”

Holy-fucking-shit.

My dick jumps hard enough that I have to shift my stance. Apparently, my body didn’t get the memo that we’re still trying to be the responsible one here.

But Shaw, or Nevan, whatever, did his job too well. All that slow edging left her so wound up that even now, lucid and staring straight into my eyes, she’s prioritizing the ache between her legs over the fact that it’s me touching her over whatever fragile line we’re about to obliterate.

This is for her.

Mostly.

And a little bit—okay, a lot—for the selfish, greedy part of me that’s been dying to hear her say my name like that while she’s awake enough to mean it.

“Good.” I let the lollipop trail down her sternum. “Then stay with me.”

She closes her eyes—maybe overwhelmed, maybe savoring—then opens them again, locking on mine as if it’s the only thing keeping her grounded.