Page 136 of In Somnis

I pull out the only thing I brought that could be considered fancy. A dark, flowy dress that hits mid-calf. I don’t even like it. It drowns me, all that fabric, and the color washes me out. But Spencer liked it. Said it was elegant. I’d packed it for the Vance Hotel Halloween party I was supposed to attend with him, Aubrey, and Sienna.

Oh well.

I pull it on anyway and go back out.

Nevan is looking at his phone with a gold chain I haven’t noticed before caught between his lips while he scrolls. He glances up when he hears me. His face does something complicated that he doesn’t quite manage to hide in time.

“Would you ask me on a second date if I wore this?” I do a half-hearted spin.

He tilts his head, studying me. “After prom night? Sure.”

Rude.

“That’s it. I’m staying home.” I turn for the bedroom.

“Lemon.” He catches my wrist. “Hey.”

I stop. And I don’t know why, maybe it’s the gentleness of it or the accumulated weight of the morning, but my eyes blur when I turn back.

He searches my face. “Don’t be hurt. You don’t even like it yourself.”

Which is not the point, but also entirely the point.

“It’s fine.”

“Lemon.”

“Are you calling me a liar?”

“Rule one,” he says simply. “We don’t lie to each other.”

I stare at him, ignoring the small, stupid flutter my stomach does at the word we. “We have rules now?”

“Everything needs rules.” He says it as if it’s obvious. “So. You don’t like it.”

“I don’t,” I admit.

“Why do you have it then?”

“My ex liked it.” I pick at the fabric. “Said it was elegant. Appropriate.”

Nevan looks at me, and his expression says everything his mouth doesn’t—those are not good reasons to own a dress—and something about that look, about being seen that clearly makes my throat tighten in a way I wasn’t prepared for.

“I thought I was going to marry him,” I admit. “And now I have to go back to what’s-your-favorite-color conversations, and I just… It’s too much. It’s too early. Why am I even doing this?”

Nevan’s thumb is moving in one slow stroke over my wrist above my scraped palm.

“Because you’re allowed to have fun. It doesn’t have to be anything more than that right now…” He pauses. “What was he like? The ex.”

“Spencer was… he wasn’t big on affection, not in public, not really in private either. He was nice to me, though, just never… excited about me, I guess? We were together for a while, but he always wanted me smaller. Not just physically, though I’m pretty sure he thought that too.” I pick at a loose thread on the dress. “I kept folding myself down to fit whatever shape he needed, and it was never good enough anyway.”

Nevan’s jaw tightens. “Sounds like a dick.”

“Yeah. I don’t want him back, that’s for sure. Jasper put a mental hex on him.”

That startles a laugh out of Nevan, and the tension in the room breaks. “Good. He deserves whatever Jasper’s got.”

“That’s rule two,” I say without thinking.