Page 120 of In Somnis

I don’t know why I keep holding onto these, why I don’t toss them into the bushes every time she gives me one.

That’s a lie.

I know exactly why.

CHAPTER TWENTY

Lennon

The milkshake is obscenely good.

Strawberry, extra thick, with whipped cream already sliding sideways off the top. I catch it with my straw before it can escape and take a long, triumphant pull while Tessa watches me.

“You look feral,” she tells me.

“I feel feral,” I agree. “This is the best milkshake I’ve ever had.”

“You say that every time.”

“And I mean it every time.”

“Sure.” She rolls her eyes, but she’s smiling.

We’re sitting on a bench in the middle of the mall, shoes off because we’ve been walking for hours and earned it. The fountain behind us makes that soft, endless trickling sound. Somewhere above us, the skylights let in pale afternoon light, and everything feels easy in the way it only ever does with her.

Like nothing bad ever happened or ever will.

“Okay,” Tessa says, crossing her legs and turning toward me. “Start talking.”

“I already did.”

“You summarized.” She flicks her hand dismissively. “I want the director’s cut. With feelings. About all three of your men.”

I groan and lean back against the bench. “They are not my anything. I simply met three new people.”

“Uh-huh.”

“I’m not into all of them.”

“Okay,” she says calmly. “So which one are you denying the hardest?”

“That’s not fair.”

“That’s not an answer.”

I drop my hands into my lap. “You make it sound like I’m desperate.”

She studies me, then snorts. “You’ve been emotionally starved for months. Of course, you’re suddenly craving everything that makes you feel alive.”

The way she says it makes it sound less like an insult and more like a diagnosis.

“I’m not craving.”

“You are absolutely craving…” she leans closer, “… sex.”

I glare at her. “I’m not sleeping with anyone.”

“Which is just tragic.” She points her straw at me. “You should absolutely fuck Paul.”