Page 116 of In Somnis

“But I’m not wrong,” Derek says. “You’re starting to look like someone who lives in the woods and warns hikers about the government.”

“Maybe I have things to warn them about.”

“Get a haircut, Ridge.”

The last of the daylight is gone. October dark always seems to arrive before you’ve agreed to it, and I hate the cold. Light slides past in the dark, lit windows and rustling leaves, and the emptiness of a Sunday evening.

“How are you doing?” Derek asks.

And there it is.

“Fine.”

“Actually, though.”

“Actually fine.”

He glances at me the way he always does, the look that means he’s identified a structural problem and is deciding whether to take the wall apart. “Sleeping?”

“Enough.”

“Writing?”

I look out the window.

“Ridge.”

“I heard you.”

“That wasn’t an answer.”

“I know.”

The silence stretches, which is the most aggravating thing about Derek. He doesn’t push. He patiently waits you out, which makes it impossible to fight without looking like an asshole. I resent it, but I also respect it, which is worse.

I don’t want to talk about it, even though I probably should. “I’m still working through something,” I say finally, because it’s true and tells him absolutely nothing.

“Okay.” The dashboard starts ringing, and Derek says, “It’s your mom.”

He answers before I can protest. “Hi, Vera. You’re on speaker. Melanie’s here. And your son.”

“Oh, wonderful!” My mother’s voice is warm and a half-beat too loud. “Hello, my darlings! Derek, are you eating? Melanie, honey, are you being good? Ridge, are you⁠—”

“We just picked up food,” I cut in. “We’re all eating, Mom.”

“Oh, the cute little Chinese place you always go to?” A pause, and I can already picture her turning away from the phone to holler over her shoulder at my dad. “Sven! They’re at the lemon chicken place.”

My father’s voice drifts in, sounding amused, but I can’t make out what he’s saying.

“He says hello,” she says a few moments later. “And that he keeps meaning to call. Ridge, have you been getting outside?”

“I’m outside right now.”

“Besides sitting in a car to grab food.”

“Define besides.”

Derek stares at the road ahead with tremendous concentration.