Page 18 of Drifter’s Heart

I hear the judgment in his voice about my security habits, and as always, his concern annoys me. I spin about, my hand hovering over the stuffie, ready to hurl it. “Not when I’m trying to get both us and all this crap out the door for lessons that I didn’t have on my schedule three months ago.” I gesture to the musical instruments and sports equipment gathered around my feet like a whole new family on its own and sigh. “Cord, you come here with great intentions and spoil her. I know that. But what’s actually happening is⁠—”

“Ready!” Sally bursts into my cramped living space, dressed ready for volleyball in her brand-spanking-new uniform with the club colors all over her, her ribbons in her hair and RAND written across the back of her shirt.

Not because she chose my maiden name as hers, but because my billionaire brother sponsored the team’s clubhouse rebuild a month ago.

I close my eyes, wanting to jam my hands onto Cord’s chest and push him so far that he’ll fall out of my sight and out of our lives. Just out, out, out.

Out, out, darn spot (or something like that). I mangle the quote in my head that I last read in eighth grade. Not that I paid much attention then because I was too engrossed in trying to get geeky Millie Barlow and jock Brad Hamilton together for the end-of-year dance to memorize lines I’d never use in the future.

Instead of gorging on Shakespeare, I ended up dating Brad for that coveted dance spot by accident, while Millie roamed free. In return, I got an early marriage fresh out of high school, a daughter I love several years later, a divorce, and a temporary restraining order against my now ex-husband and current landlord because I’m broke and stubborn to boot.

I stare at the unholy union of my offspring and my brother’s name in branded colors bouncing on the spot before me with an excess of energy that usually matches mine. The last time I saw his name emblazoned anywhere like that was the night before Cordell’s second accident when he came off the fucking bull. The vision of him with Lanie under the lights at last year’s Valiant Peak Invitational is overlaid with him lying prone in the dust, still. For the second time I had to wait to see if my brother would breathe. If he would walk.

The memory clears and my chaotic life resumes. It’s more than I can handle. So right now… I’m out.

“Lanie misses her. So do I,” Cord says softly, motioning to Sally. A fact, not blackmail. The gesture is sweet and meant to give me space.

I grit my teeth, focusing on the real version of my brother, not the fading one from last year that still freaks me out because my brother is never still. Forcing a smile through the pain of memories still deluging me, I nod. “Yep. I know you do.” Take time for yourself. Relax. Yeah, because that works out for me. So I’m a helicopter parent. In my situation, find me one who isn’t. I hate that I’m supposed to understand this need to part with my child because they miss her. That I’m supposed to feel good about letting others spend time with Sally. I don’t.

And I hate that I feel guilty about this. Do I come with baggage? Damn right. A shit ton.

My overwhelm boils to the forefront as I grab the capy-lotl and poke Cord in the chest with it. “I hate that you gave us all this. I can barely keep up.”

Cord’s “gifts” to my daughter—because he knows I’ll just throw anything he gives to me straight out—are what clutters my house. Not that I’m ungrateful, I’m just… Okay, yeah. Ungrateful covers it. And overloaded by his excessive generosity.

“You don’t have to go it alone all the time. You know that, right?” His eyes tell me a story I refuse to acknowledge.

Yes, I do.

I don’t care what my brother has been through. That’s his story, and his problem. If he’s made too much money to spend on his own, then he can go and inflict that curse on someone else. Not me and my daughter. We’re fine, thank you very freaking much. Just the way we are.

Were.

Whatever.

“Sweetie, enjoy your time with Uncle Cord, ’kay?” I force a saccharine note into my voice that I’d rather shove where no sun has ever gone before. “He’ll bring you back in time for school.”

“Yes!” Sally punches the air and darts away.

“Dammit, I just got her here and ready to go,” I mutter. This was meant to be my time with Sally originally. Not his. Yet again, Cordell busts into my life and gets his way, even if we did arrange the visit earlier. Sigh. But I can’t deny Sally anything, and she does deserve time with him… right?

And… cue guilt.

“I’m going to get extra things to stay longer at Uncle Cord’s,” Sally yells from the depths of her room.

“We’re gonna get evicted for noise complaints!” I yell back, demonstrating those double standards firsthand.

“Offer’s still open to move up.” Cord leans against my doorframe. Not that he slouches—I don’t think he can with his back-injury history.

“I don’t want to—” I cut myself off as Sally reappears. I smile for her and send Cord the stank eye over her head.

He shrugs, reaching out an arm to his niece. “Girl, you have grown. What, three inches since I saw you last?” He laughs as Sally wiggles under his arm. “You’re gonna give my foreman a run for his money, you know that?”

I jolt. “Is West back at Coyote? I thought he—” I bite my lip on what I figure is his secret since neither of them has mentioned it to me and I was too vague to freaking notice.

Cord eyes me with that too-sharp gaze of his. “I meant Billy. He’s taken the job. She’s had a growth spurt, huh?” The hard lines around his mouth soften a fraction, though his voice maintains its easy lilt.

But I know my brother, even if we’ve spent a lot of years apart. His stance tells me that he’s not any happier with West being off the land than I am with his best friend crawling about town near me.