Page 74 of Heart Of A Goon II

My baby was becoming so damn emotional, and I loved every moment of it. She couldn’t stand to cry or show emotion, but I knew she felt safe, because she wouldn’t have if she didn’t.

“Have you met his father? Mr. Fuck You Meaaan?”

I laughed as I leaned on the door. “Can you send that to me, Boobie?”

“Of course. Be safe, Pumpkin.”

“I got y’all.”

ZOYA

17 years old…

Recommendation: Listen to “Family Business” by Kayne West

The beeping sound jolted me from my sleep.

I ached as I tried to move but felt the heaviness of my body. It was as if I had been swimming for hours and had finally taken my first steps out the water. My eyes were still closed, and I struggled to open them.

One eye opened and it took a bit of force to open the second one. My vision was blurry as I looked around the room. I quickly opened and closed my eyes to try and see where I was at. The beeping sound was evidence that I was in a hospital, because the sound was familiar.

The huge window showed the other side of the hospital building. It was dreary outside with clouds. There was no sign of the sun, which matched how I felt. My eyes shifted around the spacious room, with a seating area, a private fridge and coffee machine.

On the couch to the far right of the suite, I saw a pair of sneakers hanging off it. “Don?” I croaked.

My throat felt like sandpaper. He slowly rose from the couch, and that was when I noticed it was Maverick.

My chest tightened, waiting for him to scream at me.

He rubbed his hands together, and his eyes were puffy. I had never seen Maverick look the way he did. His clothes were disheveled, as if he hadn’t changed them in days.

How long had I been here?

I watched as he slowly approached the bed and stared at me. He looked at me as if I wasn’t real and this was a dream.

“How?”

“Don found you.” He cleared his throat.

Tears welled in my eyes, as I looked towards the window. “I’m sorry.”

“Why?” his voice was shaky, as he came closer to the bed. “Why would you do this to yourself, Bean?”

Hearing the sound of his voice and the look of concern etched on his face, the dam broke and tears poured down my face. Those were the tears that I never shed because I thought I was weak if I had. Kora didn’t cry, nor did Maverick, so what did I look like crying?

They had more time with our parents, more memories and they didn’t break when they died. Who was I to break, when they stood tall and were strong? Life moved on for them, and they did everything they could to keep us together.

It felt selfish to feel the way that I felt. My heart was incomplete. Our family was incomplete. Life was hard to maneuver when you were missing pieces of you.

Our parents were gone.

My mother was dead.

I missed my mother so much. Every single thing reminded me of her. When I stared in the mirror, I could hear her voice calling me her beautiful chocolate princess. How she poured into me, always reminding me that I was beautiful and God made me this way because I was special.

When I listened to my friend’s vent about their nagging mothers, my heart shattered. If only they knew how it felt not to have one. Not to have your parents there to witness the rest of the life they helped create. I’d give everything to have my mother see me grow into the woman that she would have wanted me to be.

My father would never walk me down the aisle to my husband. My mother would never hold my hand as I brought life into this world. She would never be able to meet my children.