Page 37 of My Sunfall

“Lucas,” I whisper brokenly, “please…”

For a second, lucidity bleeds into his gaze and he falters. But as fast as it comes, it is gone. Now there is only cruel resolve left in the soulless depths.

“Now you plead? Now you wanna beg?” He chuckles somberly. “Do you know how many times I’ve pleaded with God, any god, for you to come back? How many times I’ve begged for you to hear me? I pleaded, begged and threatened for months without you ever listening.” His grip tightens and his face hardens. “You don’t get to plead with me now.”

Tears gather at the corner of my eyes, and I turn my face away as he drags his nose over my cheek toward my neck, inhaling deeply. His chest is heaving against mine, and he is hard between my thighs. I can’t move—I’m paralyzed. Not from the bulk of his body holding me down, but from the intensity of his rage washing over me like tidal waves.

My throat constricts as despair drags me under, drowning me.

“Please,” I try again. “Leave me be. I…I can’t do this.” I sob brokenly. I won’t survive you.

His hand grips my jaw hard to yank my face back to him. Tears are running down my temples to drop on the pillow as my eyes lock with his.

“I’m not letting you go,” he grits out, “even if you hate me.”

And his lips slam over mine in a possessive claiming while he grinds his hard cock against my core. I finally notice that he has already shed his pants, leaving him in his T-shirt and boxer briefs. Although I had put on a tank top and sleeping shorts tonight, I realize how exposed and vulnerable I am right now. I strain against his hold, but it only seems to spur him on as his grip on my jaw slides lower to my throat to squeeze. I instinctively tilt my head back to alleviate the pressure, involuntarily giving him better access to my lips. His kiss is fierce and forceful as he tangles his tongue with mine, stroking, sucking, demanding full surrender. And God help me, my resolve falters as desire sparks in my belly, hot and throbbing. I am lost in a sea of warring emotions.

After what feels like an eternity of tongue and teeth clashing in a war I know I’m losing, he lets go of my throat and trails his hand down my body, pushing up my top to expose my breasts. He strokes and pinches my nipple until it becomes a hard nub, then he skims his hand farther down my body to my hips, leaving a trail of fire on my skin. He pushes his hand under the fabric of my sleeping shorts and grabs my ass to pull me into him, grinding himself into me as if he wanted us to fuse into one.

I am drifting into a place where my mind detaches from my body, shriveling into a tight ball in my chest, choking me up with sobs while my body and heart are igniting into a wildfire.

Is it that bad to want him? a tiny voice in my mind whispers.

I won’t survive it if he tears out my heart and rips it to shreds again, another voice counters.

As if sensing my internal war, Lucas breaks the kiss and buries his nose into the crook of my neck, pulling the soft skin between his lips and sucking softly until a moan flies out of my mouth. He glides lower, releasing my wrists to cup my breasts and suck on my nipples. His rough growls send shivers over my skin, the deep rumble resonating in my soul like a low roll of thunder.

Then suddenly, he leans back and grabs my hip to roll me on my stomach. It happens so fast I don’t have time to fight. He pins me with his knees bracketing my hips and presses me into the mattress with a hand around the back of my neck. I try to push up on my hands, but his hold on my neck only tightens, and he leans forward, pressing my body down.

“Uh-uh, love, I won’t let you escape. You owe me six months, and I’m collecting now.”

Before I can ponder what he means, he lifts off of me, hooks his thumbs in the waistband of my shorts and pulls them down in one swift motion. Then his weight is back over my thighs, immobilizing me.

“Lucas, let—”

The first crack makes me gasp from surprise before the sting even registers on my ass.

“What—”

A second smack makes me jerk. Then I thrash against his hold, my indignant cries muffled by the pillow against which he is pressing my head.

He caresses the spots he just spanked and bends down to growl low into my ear. “Six months cara mia, six fucking months and two weeks that you’ve been away. That makes twenty-eight weeks. Consider yourself lucky that I’m counting the weeks and not the days or hours because that’s what I abso-fucking-lutely should be doing.”

Another blow lands on my upper thigh and I cry out from the sting. “Lucas, stop!”

His laugh is rough and demented, it makes my skin prickle. “I’m not nearly done, three are off, twenty-five to go. And you’ll be counting them.”

I struggle harder, desperation making me furious. “Absolutely not, release me this second!”

He bends over me again, dragging his nose over my temple. “Or what, cara mia? What is there you could threaten me with that is worse than what you already did, than you disappearing on me?” He chuckles again, inhaling hungrily before straightening again. “But I am the one setting the rules here. Either you count and I’ll stop at fourteen, or you refuse and you’ll receive all twenty-eight. Your choice, love.”

“You’re insane, let me go,” I hiss, struggling in earnest now. But his grip on the back of my neck is absolute and unshakable, as is the weight of his body pinning my legs.

The next blow lands on the underside of my buttocks and stings like hell.

“Four. Twenty-four more to go, cara mia. Your choice.”

I writhe under him with an indignant cry.