Page 29 of My Sunfall

“Let me help you with your memory,” she goes on. “‘I would never date her, she’s not my type. She’s too soft and delicate for the likes of me.’”

Goddamnit. I rake my hand through my hair. “It was not what it sounded like—”

“It was exactly what it sounded like,” she cuts me off. “So just go, return to fuck her since she looks ‘good enough to eat’ and let’s ‘just be friends.’ Or better yet, let’s not be anything at all since I’m nothing but your charity case, the woman who ‘needs people to support her because she has no one else.’ Guess what? I don’t need you, or your damn pity.”

She throws the last words with contempt and brushes past me, shouldering her bag as she walks out, leaving me standing alone in the wreckage of my life.

My brain freezes. For the first time in my existence I scramble for words. I want to deny, but I can’t. I had said all that shit, hadn’t I?

She doesn’t look back, doesn’t hear my weak plea for her to stay and listen, doesn’t see me break when my brain finally makes sense of everything. I have been a fucking idiot, and I am paying the price now. I let out a tortured roar as I slam my fists into the boxing bag again and again, bellowing, “Fuck, fuck, fuck,” with every punch, until the skin of my knuckles breaks and blood smears the leather. But even when the pain in my hands becomes excruciating, it does nothing to drown out the agony of my chest splitting open.

Chapter Nineteen

Chiara

I had hoped that after that Friday at the gym, Lucas would’ve left town with his tail between his legs, but it turns out I was sorely mistaken. He has upped the game, stalking me harder for a week, trying to corner me, wanting to explain where there is nothing to explain.

I avoid being alone now, always asking for one of the girls to help me clean the gym, or seeking out people when he ambushes me in a public place. And still, he follows me everywhere I go. Even Ethan noticed.

I unlock the front door and step inside, followed by Ethan who has been unnaturally subdued tonight during our Saturday night out.

“You want a drink?” I offer.

He shakes his head and leans against the doorjamb of the small kitchen to watch me pour my tea. Once I lean on the kitchen counter with my steaming cup in hand, he steps closer.

“Cara… This thing, it’s going nowhere, isn’t it?”

I blink at him. “What is going nowhere?”

“This…” He lets out a heavy breath. “Us.”

My breath hitches in my throat. “Us?” I whisper, my voice barely carrying. “Ethan…what are you saying?”

He averts his face, jaw tight. “I can’t do this, babe. I can’t keep pretending everything’s fine when…” His voice falters. “…when you’re still somewhere else. Your heart isn’t here. I’ve tried to ignore it, I’ve tried to stay, but I can’t anymore.”

“Are you…breaking up with me?” I croak, carefully setting the cup on the counter.

“No, I’m setting you free. I like you enough to let you go, even if it kills me. I can’t chain someone to me who’s not all in.”

My mind blanks out. “But…why?”

He doesn’t reply right away. After several beats his sad eyes lift to mine. “He’s the man who broke your heart, isn't he?”

I still, unable to offer a reply. I know exactly who he means.

He steps closer and brushes his knuckles over my cheek. “I’ve tried, babe. I was ready to wait for you until the end of time, until you were ready to let someone in again. But then he showed up, and now I see the way you look at him. You’ve never once looked at me like that.”

“Wh-what do you mean…” I stutter. “I’m not—”

“It’s okay babe, I get it. I just want you to be happy.”

“You…made me happy,” I whisper brokenly.

“But not the way I want, or the way you deserve.” He smiles sadly and my heart aches from the unfairness of the situation. The tears I have been trying to hold back begin to slide down my cheeks and he gently wipes them away.

“Shhh, don’t cry babe, it’s okay.”

“I…never wanted to hurt you, I swear… I’m so sorry.”