Page 10 of My Sunfall

I look away, to hide all the things I can’t say, the hurt, the anger, the heartbreak. When I’m ready to look at her again, all she sees is resolve.

“They won’t even notice, or care,” I say lightly. “But better to be safe than sorry.”

She gives me a long look, then exhales loudly.

“Okay…let’s do this. Let’s make Chiara disappear.”

* * * *

I look around my room. It is lavish, fitting for a princess, but for me it had always felt like a cage. I set the white paper crane on the windowsill, knowing that Lily will immediately spot it when she steps into the room. If she comes here. Of course she will, a small voice says. Then she will see the origami and know that I have spread my wings to take flight.

“I can’t do it, it’s wonky,” I complain as I crumble the pesky piece of paper in my hand and throw it angrily across the room.

Lee merely laughs, eyes twinkling with amusement, looking so grown-up despite her eleven years. Our mothers were pregnant almost at the same time, and I am only a few months older than her.

“Be patient, sis. Look, I’ll show you again, let’s take it step by step.”

She shows me again, painstakingly folding the piece of paper into an exquisite crane, its neck slightly bent and wings outstretched like it is taking flight.

“See? You can do it, too,” she encourages me, and I reluctantly take another piece of paper to try again. And I finally succeed, after several attempts and some encouragement from her. I hold the paper crane up with pride, looking at it from every angle. Then, I turn to my sister and shyly hold it out to her. She takes it with a delighted smile. “Your first paper crane.” She beams. “I’ll keep it forever!”

From that day on, leaving a paper crane for the other to find was our message to say, “I’m thinking of you and I love you.”

The dampness of my tears running down my face pulls me back to the present. Lily has been my rock, my driving force. She had been with me for almost as long as I can remember, steadfast and unwavering in her support, so strong despite my mother being cruel to her and trying to break her at every turn. I had tried to defend her at first, but when Mother took her anger out on me, Lily begged me to stop. We learned to keep our heads down, holding hands under the table and waiting for the storm to blow over.

I let out a sob. This hurts so much, leaving her behind. But I know I won’t back down. There’s nothing left for me to stay. I need to learn to stand on my own two feet. Then I’ll learn to take it step by step, eventually I’ll be able to walk, and someday it won’t hurt that much anymore. Then I will contact Lily to see her and Dante.

I also feel guilty for leaving Father behind, but I’m not strong enough anymore to keep us both standing. I had begged, threatened, pleaded, shouted, cried, to no avail. The dark place he has slipped into has its claws embedded too deeply into him, and I am too weak to pull him out. Worse, I’ll get dragged down too, if I stay. I had begged the housekeeper to keep an eye on him and to call our physician, should things go too far. I also gave her Erin’s number in case I needed to come back unexpectedly.

My phone chimes in my hand, interrupting my spiraling thoughts. Not my usual phone which is now stashed away in the drawer of my nightstand. It’s the burner phone Erin gave me when she walked me through the plan. I look at the screen.

Everything’s ready, Chiquita. Let’s roll.

Perfect, just on time.

I pick up my backpack and cast a last glance around my childhood room. I let out a steady breath and open the door to leave my life behind.

Chapter Six

Lucas

What’s going on, why aren’t you replying?

No confirmation that she’d read it. I tap the call button. After several rings it goes to voicemail. Like the thirty-two times before. All my messages have remained unanswered, and, worse, unread.

What the fuck? Why isn’t Chiara replying or calling me back? Is she hurt?

I type again.

Sweetheart, answer the damn phone.

My messages have become increasingly threatening and I sound unhinged, but I don’t care. I haven’t seen or heard from her since the gala two days back, and it bothers me to no end that she is AWOL. Usually, she replies the same day and her silence begins to make my skin prickle. But her sister doesn’t seem concerned or I would’ve heard by now, so I smother my impatience, hoping that she is just too busy to reply.

But she should reply, goddamnit. I’ll tell her that next weekend, at Sunday brunch.

I rake my fingers through my hair and exhale loudly. My mind has been running in circles for two days and I can’t seem to focus. All I see is her in that dress, golden and radiant like a goddess. I hadn’t found her when I went back into the ballroom, she must’ve already gone home. I hope she didn’t get sick. I tell myself that she is busy. That she’s too distracted to reply. Or resting. Or gone out.

Fuck no, not gone out. Not with that asshole Nathan. Definitely not. My mind is spiraling as a vise latches around my chest.