Page 63 of The Beta Test

“No, he didn’t⁠—”

But then I cut myself off. Because… I do remember. At the time, I was less concerned about Braden than I was about my ruined project. But in the fringes of my mind I can remember the sound of him heaving near me in the parking lot hedges, like the most awful soundtrack to one of my worst moments.

Jenna purses her lips in disgust as we both remember the scene. “I think he’s spiraling again, but this time it’s too much. But… why wouldn’t you tell me? I can’t lie… I’m struggling with the idea you could tell my little brother about this but not me. Since when did you two get so close, anyway?”

I feel my cheeks heat in embarrassment. Why am I more embarrassed about Jake than Braden? I grab my cup of milk off my side table and chug the rest to try to get a handle on myself.

“Oh, well Jake’s been tutoring me in calculus.”

Jenna shakes her head. “Wait, what? Like, I know Jake’s smart. But so are you, so why would you need him to tutor you?”

I wave her comment away with one hand. “Braden and I used to do math together. I guess I depended on him more than I thought.”

“Ah,” she says, then pauses to think for a moment before a strange look takes over her face. “I’m not sure how I feel about you and my brother…”

“Jenna, no. He’s been a good friend through all of this.”

She narrows her eyes at me assessingly. “Alright. I mean, it wouldn’t be the weirdest thing in the world now that I think about it. And I guess if I couldn’t be there for you, I’m glad he was. Plus, he definitely doesn’t spiral about stuff.”

“Jenna—”

But she waves me off. “We don’t need to get into that. Anything else I need to know? I mean, the Braden thing is HUGE, and I can’t get over how crazy that is. I never saw that coming.”

“Well…”

Earlier this morning I’d agonized over whether to tell her about my parents, but then I realized—this is Jenna. Of course I need to tell her. So I do. I tell her about the fighting behind closed doors, about my dad being gone for months, about their announcement, and my dad’s apartment. I even tell her about the blonde on Instagram my dad had his arm wrapped around. The last point is what really sends her into a tailspin.

“I don’t believe it. Your dad? No way. He was always Mr. Mom when we were little and took us to the park and the library. I can’t imagine him cheating. No way. Show me the pic.”

I shrug and pull out my phone, then navigate to the picture he was tagged in. She grabs the phone and scrutinizes it closely.

“Wait, I know her. She’s in a show Sarah loves and she’s always talking about it. I’m pretty sure she got married about six months ago, and her husband is a hunk. No offense to your dad, but there’s no way she’d leave her husband for him.”

Sarah, one of her volleyball teammates, grew up in Australia until her family moved here right before high school. I assume she means an Australian TV show because when she mentions the name it doesn’t ring a bell.

Jenna googles the show and pulls up the actress’s Wikipedia page in less than a minute.

“Yep, married.” She hands the phone to me, and I see the screen filled with a beautiful beach wedding. Her husband is definitely a looker.

I deflate. I’m not upset he’s not cheating, of course, but it had seemed like an easy thing to point to in order to explain their choice to separate. If he’s not leaving Mom for someone else, then… why?

“Maybe he’s not cheating, but I think they’re still getting divorced, Jenna.”

“Av—” She pulls me towards her and wraps me in a hug. “It’s going to be ok.”

I nod against her shoulder and let myself relax into another hug from my best friend this morning. Why did I ever avoid this? It seems like total madness now.

We hold there for a few more seconds then pull apart.

“I’m glad you told me everything,” she says.

I bite my lip nervously. “Actually…”

“Avery James! There’s more?!”

I launch into a confession about Analiese coming over to my house to watch Wuthering Heights the weekend I was supposed to go to Jenna’s volleyball game. I include the detail that Analiese and I seem to have been connected on Connection Services, and that the study date ended with Analiese thinking I was ashamed to hang out with her. In the spirit of total transparency, I also tell Jenna how Analiese called me a coward.

Jenna sighs. “You’re not a coward, Avery.” She pauses, considering. “Well, maybe a little.”