Page 80 of Dark Surrender

Sitting on the floor next to me, with our backs propped against the front of my new sofa, Cell sips her Diet Coke from a bright orange straw and bumps her shoulder into mine. “I can’t believe you bought this ugly couch.” She cackles as she stares at me out of the corner of her devious eye.

This bitch won’t let me live it down.

Not that I blame her. I wouldn’t let her live it down either.

Over a week ago, my furniture was delivered, including this monstrosity I blame on Dark. Had he not been touching me, I wouldn’t have agreed to buy this vintage couch with giant, lime-green flowers, dark green leaves, a cream background, and wooden accents.

It is by far the ugliest couch I’ve ever seen.

To which I am now the not-so-proud owner of.

Dragging a palm down my face, I laugh, and Cell joins in until we’re both howling at my hideous statement piece.

“At least it has character,” she crows, dabbing tears from under her eyes.

“Ugly character.” I snort.

“Ugly things need love, too.”

I bump my shoulder into hers. “It’s not sentient. It doesn’t have feelings.”

Twisting around, Cell pats the cushion. “It’s okay, baby girl, she didn’t mean to say that.”

“Cell.” I giggle. “Stop it.”

“She’ll grow to love you. All mothers learn to love even their ugliest children.”

Shaking my head, I bust a gut at my friend’s seriousness until I’m bent forward, clutching my stomach. “Stop,” I wheeze.

“You can’t get rid of your new baby, Iris.”

“I wasn’t planning on it.”

“Good.” Shoving her half-full can at me to hold, Cell crawls over to the new TV stand in a pair of shorts that flash me half of her ass, grabs the remote from the top, and crawls back over, where she claims her drink and drops the clicker onto my lap. “Pick something bloody, with hot men.”

Rolling my eyes at her obsession with sexy men, I turn on my new flatscreen. “Couldn’t you just watch the Red Room live streams to get that?”

“No. Those are Sola’s men.”

Ah. Yes. You shouldn’t fantasize about your sister’s partners. Then again, they’re masked, and they do this for money. So it’s not like they don’t know some women watch to get their rocks off to their bloody perversion. It’s not my cup of tea, but who am I to yuck anyone else’s yum?

“You need to get laid?” I tease, knowing she doesn’t sleep around and has an extensive sex toy collection.

“Shhhh…” Cell pushes a finger to her lips. “We don’t talk about my sex life. Just like we don’t talk about yours… or that Dark’s been drinking at the bar every night.”

“That’s none of my business.”

“Hmmm. I’m thinking you have a hot boy problem.”

“I have no such thing.”

“I think you have a bit of a crush on a certain hot biker, and I think that hot biker has a big crush too. On you.”

“I think you need to tell me what bloody movie we are watching.”

“How many days has it been since Dark came over?”

“Today.”