Page 73 of Dark Surrender

Christ. I can’t believe I’m about to do this.

Shame spirals through my gut as I step forward, rest one hand on the counter, hang my head, and jack off. I make it quick. Fast and furious. I tug him harder than normal because I’m angry and sexually frustrated and embarrassed by his reaction.

It’s not like I didn’t masturbate when I got back from the bar last night. I did.

I’m not a teenager anymore. I’m old. Old dicks shouldn’t be actin’ like this.

Grittin’ my teeth, I get through it one tug at a time, and even though I don’t want to, I think of Iris. Fucking her. No. Eating her sweet pussy. Sucking her tits. Kissing her. The thought of my mouth on hers pushes me over the edge. Cum bathes my palm as a low, hungry moan forces its way from my soul, and I black out for half a moment before I clean up, wash my hands, and return to the kitchen, with one less erection, but a whole new level of guilt. For doing that here. In her bathroom.

I grab the extra sandwich and tear into it for something to do.

Iris leans against the counter, watching me with those all-knowing, soul-stealing eyes, sipping coffee.

“What?” I mumble around a bite.

“You’re a ball of nervous energy.”

I swallow my mouthful. “It’s that obvious?”

A short laugh bursts from her throat, and Iris’s eyes light up as she says, “Oh. Yeah. I watched you pace my front yard for a good five minutes. You were mumbling to yourself.”

With the sandwich poised at my lips, I sigh. “You really shouldn’t let me into your house. You need to tell me to leave you alone.”

“Why?”

“Because… you… You make my dick hard, and we’re friends, and I just… I just jacked off in your bathroom. I didn’t want to.”

Her lip twitches as if she’s trying not to laugh. “You didn’t want to jack off in my bathroom, but you did?”

“Fuck…” A tinge of embarrassment consumes my cheeks, and I stare up at the ceiling. “Listen. I’m…”

“Going to take me shopping for furniture today,” Iris says in an upbeat, sweet tone that is not right for this conversation.

I snap my attention to her. “Iris. Christ, you’re not listening to me. You turn me on. I violated your bathroom.”

Pushing off the counter, she sets her empty mug in the sink and shrugs. “And? Did you try to have sex with me?”

“No,” I growl, offended she’d even bring it up. “I’m your friend. Th… I wouldn’t do that.” I would never ever, ever fucking touch her without her permission, and I’d kill anyone who even looked at her the wrong way.

“Exactly.” Iris nods as if I replied the way she expected me to. “You wouldn’t do that…” Her eyes stray to the counter still full of food. “Thank you for the breakfast. I’m gonna go get dressed, and you can drive my truck around for us to get some furniture today. Unless you have something else planned?”

This woman…

“No. I…” I fumble as she, in that same upbeat tone, cuts in.

“Would love to take me shopping?” Iris’s beautiful smile gives me pause. I soak it in. My jumbled emotions calm, and for the first time since I arrived, I breathe a whole lot easier.

“Yeah. Of course, sweetheart, I’d love that.”

“Then I’ll be ready in ten minutes. Brown or blonde?” she asks, about to exit the kitchen.

“You don’t need to wear a wig. You look gorgeous without one.”

She beams at me. “Thank you. But I… I’m more comfortable in public this way.”

“Fair enough.” I nod in understanding. “Do you have anything long and maybe brownish-red?”

“Like an auburn? I think so.”