Page 25 of Pretty

I wiped the tears from my eyes as they fell. “I need to. I guess I thought I had, but now I realize that maybe I hadn’t, not completely.”

“Are you sure you want to just leave then?”

“What else is there for me other than to be walled in here?” I asked, spreading my arms out wide.

“Just make sure that this is something you’re ready for, and you don’t run out of fear of new possibilities. I didn’t mean to come and run you off, Pretty.”

“You’re not.”

“You sound like you have a lot of regrets about what happened between us. I want you to clear up your feelings about moving forward with your life and how you compartmentalize that and reconcile your past and future. I told you that weekend that I wanted to get to know you better, Pretty, but I want you whole, and I want you to want me too.”

“So, if I’m not healed, you don’t want to get to know me better? Because that’s what I hear you saying, Drew.” I felt myself becoming emotional, and I wasn’t sure why. The realization of that made me even more emotional.

“No. That’s not what I’m saying to you. When I say whole, I mean that I want you to be prepared to work toward releasing the past and not carrying it with you into your future. Do you understand what I’m saying?”

“I do, but it doesn’t matter anyway. I told you that we needed to let that weekend be that weekend and nothing else.”

“Look, I want you, love. I heard you tell me that weekend that was all you wanted, and I wanted to believe you. It’s just that I can’t forget the way that you opened up to me, how you talked to me, and you let your guard down. You wanted more than just sex, and I connected with that. I won’t push you, but I realize that you’re not done with me yet. I’ll be patient until you create space in your life for me, but I won’t share that space and try to compete with your past.”

I paused, twisting the end of the wrap around my fingers. My emotions were raw, and I couldn’t afford to let Drew see that. I quickly turned away. I had allowed Drew to see more than he should have. I’d grown accustomed to being alone, with the occasional intervention from my family and the Johnsons. Taking time to start something new was not a part of my plan.

“It’s like I said, I’m not ready for anything now anyway. I, . . . uhm, I’ve got to get back to my work.” I jerked my thumb over my shoulder. It was time to bring an end to the conversation and put boundaries in place. The casual conversation had already gone too far.

“No problem, beautiful. I sense when things are getting too intense, and I’ll never push you further than you’re ready to go. I’m sorry if you feel I’ve done that,” he apologized, backing up. “Once again, thanks for loaning me the screwdriver, and if you need anything at all, . . . call out.”

“Sure,” I replied.

I turned away, allowing him to close the fence so I could return to my work. Only I couldn’t summon the energy to paint again when I sat at my easel. I rested my elbows on my knees and hung my head low. The creativity and energy that had previously flowed through me had ebbed away. I didn’t have the inspiration I’d been running on.

Children’s laughter could be heard in the distance, as they tried to capture the vestiges of the sun before it went down. Animated adult chatter from backyards, car doors opening and closing, horns blaring, and the occasional barking of a dog marked the spring evening. In contrast, in my yard, all was quiet, and the chirping of the crickets was the loudest sound in my little haven. All those things paired with Drew’s absence conspired to make me feel lonelier than ever before.

My phone rang loudly, interrupting me from my musing and disturbing the quietness of my backyard. It startled me and caused me to jerk upright. I picked up my cell phone and stared at my mother’s image smiling at me. I welcomed the intrusion, because it was the only thing that would keep me from sinking into despair.

ONE WEEK LATER

Music poured from the speakers into my backyard, making the atmosphere lively and festive the way my sister planned. I was playing a game of bones with some of the fellas. The rest of my guests were playing cornhole, volleyball, dancing, or chilling at the pool.

I was in the midst of counting the money on the table when I froze. That crazy shit was happening to me again. I glanced up and saw her crossing her yard. Her hands were shoved deep in the pockets of a blush pink colored jumpsuit. She paired it with chocolate-brown sandals and chunky, chocolate-brown wooden bangles and earrings. The top was made of lace, and the pant legs were wide and flowing. Anytime Pretty came around, my entire being hummed with awareness. It was like I became extremely alert, and all my senses came alive.

“Damn, she’s beautiful as hell,” Jamarian Strong remarked.

Jamarian had been a friend of mine for years. With eighteen championship belts between welterweight and light middleweight, a record of forty-one and four, he was on the brink of retiring from boxing. Women threw themselves at him all the time, and he collected them the same way he did his belts.

The difference between how we treated women was that I was honest about what I wanted from them and where they stood in my life. Jamarian made women believe he was in love with them, wanted a relationship from them, and they were the only one. I knew you didn’t have to lie to a woman to bed her. If she was on the same wavelength, she would willingly give you what you wanted because she wanted it too. He thought you had to lie to a woman to get between her legs.

There was no way I would let him go near Pretty. For all the damage he might cause if she were to even think about him, they would probably ban my ass from the community because of being associated with him.

“That’s my neighbor Pretty.”

A smirk tilted his lips. “She sure as hell is.”

Dani spotted her and immediately beelined in her direction. My sister never met a stranger. Pretty turned slightly when my sister approached her and extended her hand in greeting.

That was when I saw the back of her jumpsuit. The little spaghetti straps on her shoulders tied in the middle of her back, which was bare except for the tie. Her hair was pulled up into a high ponytail, and the curls bounced off her shoulders. Looking at her back and the arch just above her ass had my dick bricking up as memories of our weekend in Naples flooded my mind.

My sister said something, and Pretty angled her head slightly as she laughed. Whatever my sister said next had her completely open, as her head tilted back and she laughed harder.

“You gon’ throw that bone down or what?” Matt asked. His thick eyebrows furrowed down. Matt, Jason, and Jamarian had all arrived around the same time.