Page 28 of Love At Close Range

“Yep,” I confirmed as I grabbed another wing. “Me, him, and Rhyse were sitting there eating, and out the blue he starts talking about how he’s serious about me and wants to make me his wife eventually.”

“What did you say?” Mona asked as she stopped eating and looked directly at me.

“I told him we’d talk about it later,” I replied as I shrugged. “Rhyse’s bad ass told him he didn’t need a daddy. I swear that little boy gone make me knock his teeth out and he’ll be waiting for them to grow back,” I complained as I shook my head.

“You act like you’on know who his daddy is.” She smirked.

“Bitch you tried it,” I countered as I pointed my freshly manicured nails at her.

“I’m just saying,” Mona replied. “You’ve been with that man two years. If him mentioning marriage got you looking like somebody asked you a trick question, that means something.”

“I never said I didn’t want to marry him,” I reminded her as I sat back in my chair.

“You never said you did either,” Mona countered as she watched me. “So how do you feel about it?”

“I’on see it with Dorian,” I admitted as I looked back at her. “I care about him, but when he said that shit, I didn’t get excited. I just wanted to get through breakfast without the conversation continuing.”

Mona nodded.

“The only man I ever actually pictured marrying was Lennox,” I continued as I reached for my glass. “Back then, I thought that was exactly where we were headed. I could see the house, kids, marriage, all that shit with him. Then his ass fucked all that up, and I stopped looking at relationships like that.”

“That was different for you,” Mona said as she rested her forearms on the table. “You loved Lennox.”

“Exactly,” I agreed as I took a sip. “And that’s the difference. I’m not in love with Dorian.”

Saying it out loud didn’t shock me because I already knew it. I had known it for a while and just never had a reason to say the words. Dorian told me he loved me, and I never questioned whether he meant it. I just couldn’t give him the same thing back because it wasn’t there.

“Does he know that?” Mona asked.

“He should.” I shrugged. “I’ve never told that man I loved him… not once.”

“Damn,” Mona muttered as she shook her head slightly. “Two years, Ree?”

“I’m not saying it just because he wants to hear it,” I replied as I frowned. “That would be worse than not saying it at all.”

“I agree with that,” Mona assured me as she picked up her glass. “But if you already know you’re not in love with him, and now you’on trust him either, what are y’all doing?”

“I’on know,” I admitted as I looked toward the hallway when I heard Rhyse and Quaylon yelling. “Maybe I got comfortable. He didn’t require much from me emotionally, and I think I liked that more than I realized.”

“Until he started talking about forever,” she added.

“Pretty much,” I agreed. “Now this nigga is talking about marriage while I’m sitting here wondering if anything coming out his mouth is true. For all I know he could be using marriage as a distraction, but he should know that I’m not a bitch who can be easily distracted.”

“That’s your answer then,” Mona said as she sat her glass down. “Not saying that you need to break up with him this second, but you definitely shouldn’t even entertain marriage with somebody you’on trust.”

“And I’m not,” I assured her as I shook my head. “That’s not even an option right now. I wouldn’t marry Dorian tomorrow if he showed up with the biggest ring that ever existed,” I commented meaning every word.

I wasn’t in love with Dorian, and I didn’t trust him. Those weren’t minor problems that could be fixed with some flowers, a breakfast date, or him telling me everything was fine. Marriage wasn’t going to make either one disappear, and I wasn’t about to convince myself otherwise just because we had already spent two years together. The only time I had ever looked at a man and known I wanted forever with him… I ended up leaving Cannon Hills pregnant and brokenhearted. Lennox made sure I learned not to build my entire future around what a man promised me.

Dorian wasn’t Lennox, and I wasn’t punishing him for what happened between us, but I also wasn’t about to ignore what was right in front of me. I didn’t trust the man I was with, and I damn sure wasn’t in love with him. The more I admitted that to myself, the less sense staying with him started to make.

After we finished eating, Mona started cleaning up while I stayed at the table with my wine and checked a few emails from work. I had taken the day off from going into the office, but that didn’t mean I didn’t get things done.

I grabbed my phone and called Tasha to check in before I went on with the rest of my day.

“Hey, girl… everything good over there?” I asked as soon as she answered.

“Everything is good, Reiana,” Tasha assured me. “We had one call from the Kingswell building about adding an extra service next week, but I already handled it. Other than that, everybody showed up, nobody pissed anybody off, and I haven’t had to threaten anybody yet.”