Page 20 of Love At Close Range

I cared about Dorian, and despite what Taryn’s crazy ass thought, I didn’t want him to be doing anything that would force me to walk away. Two years was still two years of my life. We had good times together, and before all this weird shit started, being with him was easy.

I gave him a small nod before turning my attention back to my plate. “Aight,” I responded.

“You mad at me now?” He asked.

“I’m not mad,” I lied.

He knew I was lying just as well as I knew he was.

For the rest of dinner, Dorian made an obvious effort to stay off his phone. I played along because I wasn’t about to spend the rest of my night sitting there with an attitude, but whatever mood I had when I walked into The Blue Room was gone.

“You ready?” Dorian asked as he stood from the booth and extended his hand toward me.

“Mhm,” I responded as I slid my hand into his and stood.

He pulled me closer and kissed my temple before placing his hand against the lower part of my back. I let him guide me through the lounge while my mind was somewhere else entirely. Dorian could tell me there was nothing to worry about until he turned blue in the face… I still didn’t believe him. I got a feeling that whatever he was hiding was a whole lot bigger than some damn real estate contract.

***

the next afternoon…

Taryn was sitting on the other end of my sofa with a plate in her lap. Mona was supposed to be here too, but Mireya woke up sick this morning, so she stayed home with her. Taryn and I didn’t let that stop us from making an afternoon out of it. I ordered wings, and a few appetizers from one of our favorite spots, and Tay brought over a bottle of tequila to top everything off. By the time we finished eating, my second drink was already working its way through me, but not enough to stop me from being irritated every time I thought about Dorian.

Dorian and I had been together for two years, and I never thought we had the kind of relationship where I had to question every word he said. We weren’t perfect, but we didn’t have constant drama either. Until recently, being with him felt easy enough. Now every conversation felt like I was trying to read between the lines and crack some kind of code.

“I asked him last night if he was telling me the truth,” I explained as I pushed my plate onto the coffee table. “He looked me dead in my face and still gave me that same ass lie.”

“That would’ve did it for me,” Taryn replied as she shook her head.

“Bitch, everything does it for you,” I laughed despite myself.

“Because I’on have patience for bullshit,” Taryn defended as she laughed with me. “Y’all be giving niggas too much grace and then act surprised when they use all of it.”

I grabbed my drink and took a sip before I responded to her. “I’m definitely not the one to give nigga more than one chance to play with me. Hence the reason Rhyse doesn’t know his sorry ass, black ass daddy.”

“I know you’re not,” Taryn replied as her expression softened. “That’s why I’m telling you to stop acting like you need Dorian’s bitch ass in the act before you can be done with his ass. If you’on feel right, then some shit ain’t right.”

For most of my adult life, I had trained myself not to be reckless with my feelings. Lennox taught me that lesson without ever knowing he did. After him, I promised myself I would never be the woman who ignored signs because she wanted something to work. I wasn’t going to beg anybody to choose me, and I damn sure wasn’t going to stay somewhere I wasn’t wanted. Dorian had done anything nearly to what Lennox did, but that didn’t mean I was required to wait around until he did something equally fucked up before I protected myself.

“I’on want to make a decision based off fear either,” I admitted as I rested my head against the back of the couch. “I know what happened with Lennox fucked me up in ways I probably still don’t admit, and I’on want to punish Dorian for shit he didn’t do.”

“Then don’t punish him for Lennox. Punish that nigga for his own shit,” she countered.

“That sounded too damn mature coming from you,” I teased as I narrowed my eyes.

“Bitch, I’m wise as fuck,” Taryn boasted with a smirk. “You need to start listening to me,” she laughed.

“Didn’t you just threaten to beat a bitch delirious last week for talking to you crazy?” I reminded her as I laughed.

“I can be wise and violent at the same time.” She shrugged.

“You’re an idiot,” I muttered as I shook my head.

Taryn laughed before she grew serious again. “But for real, Ree. Forget Lennox. Forget what Mona thinks. Forget what I think. If Dorian keeps moving like this, do you still want to be with him?”

“I’on know,” I finally admitted as I rubbed my thumb along the side of my glass. “And I hate that.”

Taryn nodded. “Then give yourself enough space to figure that out. You’on have to break up with him today, but you also don’t have to keep pretending everything is good just because he tells you it is.”