Page 397 of Power Play

“You fucking proved that?”

“I made one horrible choice.”

“You made it when I needed you most. To me, that is the same fucking thing.”

“And you have punished me every day since!”

“I left you alone.”

“You kissed me!”

“You came into my lodge.”

“Briggs told me I could get my bag!”

“I told him to keep you away from me.”

“He was trying to stop me from freezing outside while you were too busy hating me to care!”

“I cared!” I slammed my palm against the counter. “That was the fucking problem. I cared that you were cold. I cared that you hadn’t eaten. I cared that you were crying, and I hated every one of you for putting me in a room where I had to care about you after what you did.”

“So you kissed me to make me pay for it.”

“Yes.”

Her face went still. The honesty wounded her more deeply than another insult could have, and I didn’t take it back.

“You knew what that kiss would do to me,” she said.

“I wanted you choking on regret for ruining me.”

“You wanted me to believe you still loved me long enough to rip it back.”

“Oh, I still love you.” I looked at her with all the disgust I felt for both of us. “I hate you more.”

“Then you’re worse than I thought.”

“Good. Hold on to that.”

“You keep saying that like you want to make sure there’s nothing left for me to fight for.”

“There isn’t.”

“Bullshit.”

I laughed, and her anger sharpened.

“You chose Milwaukee because there are no memories of me there. You looked for me in the stands. You’re standing here in the suit you signed your future in, screaming that you love me while insisting there’s nothing left.” She stepped around the pieces of glass we’d missed, closing the space between us. “That doesn’t sound like nothing, Ryan. It sounds like you’re so fucking afraid of being hurt twice that you would rather destroy us yourself.”

“There is no us.” I grabbed the mezcal and poured a shot.

“There is, and you hate that you can’t kill it.”

“I’m doing a pretty good job.” I slammed the shot and placed the glass on the counter.

“No, you’re hiding it.”

“From who?”