Page 13 of Heart of a Hero

“I’m trying to make something other than pasta and kid food, but it isn’t working out.” He closed the oven door. “And I think that maybe it’s too complicated for you and me to see each other. I mean, you are Lizzie’s teacher, and you’re the one who will pay a price if people find out we’re seeing each other. And I don’t want to do that.”

“I see. Is that what you wanted to tell me? Because you could have just called or texted and I would have understood.” Well, maybe it would have been easier to hear from a distance. “Is that the only reason? Because I had a shi… crappy day today, and this is the icing on the crap cake. So I’m just going to go, and….”

“I’m sorry. What happened?”

Forrest felt like he was in a car crash, getting whiplash in slow motion. “How about you don’t worry about it, and I can go back to just being Lizzie’s teacher? I’ll see you at the next parent/teacher conference.”

Conrad blew out the air from his lungs. “I’m sorry for being a jerk and all. I just don’t want you to get in trouble. And I know that if people find out we’re seeing each other, they’ll be all up in arms, and you’ll be the one who gets the ugliness.”

“You mean more than a parent complaining about me. And their kid isn’t even in my class. But they complained because I’m the recess monitor sometimes, and their kid said they were scared of me.”

“Holy hell, that really happened?” Conrad’s mouth hung open. “What is wrong with people? You’re a kind person and the kids love you. At least the ones who have you. So what if some mama’s boy is scared of you? It probably means he has plenty to be scared about because he’s the kid who will bully the others.”

“Yeah, well, I’m a public school teacher. So that means that I’m generally to blame for whatever their child does. If they’re afraid of me, then it’s my fault.” He turned to Conrad. “And you’re almost as bad. Don’t you think I’m capable of making my own decisions about who I might want to have a relationship with?” He decided to take the bull by the horns. “If you aren’t interested in me, that’s fine. I can take that. But don’t try to hide behind what I may need or want. That’s a copout. I can make my own decisions. And yes, it could be problematic if we date and become serious. Then it might really be an issue if Lizzie is still in my class. But there are options that we can explore together. If that’s what you want. But if you don’t, just say so and stop hiding.”

“Are you gonna play hide and seek? I’m a good hider,” Lizzie said as she hurried into the room.

“That’s not what we’re talking about,” Conrad told her. “Go on and play with your dolls. Dinner should be ready in a little while. I hope.” He sighed as she left. “Okay. I’m sorry. I thought I was doing what was best. I worry about Lizzie, and I’m worried about you too. I don’t want either of you to get hurt.”

Forrest was willing to concede that meant Conrad did have feelings for him, even if he had reacted poorly. “I can make my own decisions.”

“I know. Maybe I was worried that I was the one who would get hurt. Maybe I was scared that when push came to shove, I’d be the one who was disposable. I’ve been before, so why not again?” Forrest thought that maybe they were getting to the heart of the issue. “I guess I thought that I was doing what was right for both of us. But… I tried to tell myself that all day, but it felt so wrong. Even as I was saying it, the words didn’t feel right.”

Forrest let all of what Conrad had said sink in. “So what you need to tell me is exactly what you do want.”

Conrad swallowed hard. “I like seeing you, and I look forward to when we get together. It’s like I’ve had so much hurt that being with you makes me feel like someone who can be right again. But what if you get hurt? I don’t want that.”

“We can’t know what is going to happen. But no throwing ourselves on swords. Okay? They make a real mess.” He smiled. “Besides, we need to talk things over rather than assume what the other wants.”

“Okay. I promise.” Conrad smiled, and Forrest loved that look on him. “But what are you going to do about your job? I mean, keeping secrets suck.”

“I need to give it some thought, okay? But right now, we’re figuring things out and there’s no need to rush into anything.”

Conrad sighed. “Yeah, okay. I can live with that.” He smiled, and Forrest figured they were on the same page.

“Daddy, I’m hungry.” Lizzie hurried in, and Conrad checked the oven. He pulled out the baking pan, which was charred black. “Yucky.”

“Yeah, I’m afraid so. Pizza?”

“Chicken nuggets?” Lizzie asked. “I want McDonald’s.”

“Fine,” Conrad told her. “I’m too tired to argue with you. So come on. Get your shoes on and put on your jacket and we’ll go.” She raced away. “You don’t have to come with us. It’s her thing, but you don’t have to eat at McDonald's if you don’t want to.”

“I’m a Big Mac kind of guy,” Forrest said, and Conrad looked him over with a gaze filled with heat.

“I bet you are,” he teased and then laughed, which only made Forrest wonder how quickly he’d come to crave that sound.

Forrest lightly bumped Conrad’s shoulder as they waited for Lizzie to join them. “You need to tell me what happened to freak you out.” He knew something had touched Conrad off. “Was it that guy from work?”

Conrad bit his lower lip. “I found it it’s been Lester stirring up trouble at the office. He was talking to the assistants and office people and getting them spun up with rumors… but they aren’t rumors if they’re true, are they?”

“Spreading gossip is always pretty bad. There’s plenty of it where I work too. I stay away from those people and do my best not to take part. That way I hope I can stay under the radar.”

“Lester is really turning on his pain-in-the-assness.” Lizzie hurried in, and Conrad let the topic drop, which was probably best. There was no need to make a big deal out of Forrest being there and becoming friends with her daddy. “Are you ready to go?”

“Yes.” She jumped up and down.

“Okay, then we can go,” Conrad told her, and they went out to the car. Once Lizzie was buckled into her car seat, they were on their way. As they drove, Lizzie started singing the “Wheels on the Bus” song, and Forrest couldn’t help joining on. Conrad did as well, and they were all laughing by the time they arrived.