Page 94 of The Champion

“‘Tis a good thing you care for me then, given my treatment, I shudder at what you would do to me should you decide you hate me.”

Her face turned stern. “Pray you never find that out.”

Zenobia turned away and headed for the entrance. She paused and looked back at him. “Tell me something, Stryder. When you are too old and aged to tourney...too old to carry your sword and battle for the weak, who will sit in the hall beside you to keep you company?”

He looked away at that. In truth, he chose to not think about such things. If he were lucky, he wouldn’t have to deal with such a fate.

However, Zenobia was in no mood to give him any sort of quarter from those thoughts. “You can’t stop time from moving forward, nor can you defeat every demon who walks this earth. All your life you have been running away from the ghost of your parents and the fear of becoming your father. But tell me honestly, Widowmaker, what would have happened had your mother loved your father the way he loved her? Imagine that for one moment. A marriage where two people live and die for each other. Both of them hopelessly in love for all their lives.”

Those words made him ache even more. “Do you think it possible?”

“Simon lives in happiness. You told me so yourself.”

Aye. Simon and Kenna were indeed happy in their vows. But as he had pointed out to Rowena earlier, they were still newly married. What they had might last forever and it could end on the morrow.

Not to mention the fact that his marriage had also curtailed Simon’s loyalty to their Brotherhood. “Simon stays in Scotland now, forever removed from our service.”

“Is he?” Zenobia asked with an arched brow. “What of the youths we send to him? Without Kenna and Simon to understand their problems and to help them readjust to life outside of captivity, those children would be lost to us and their families. Unrecoverable. It seems to me, he serves our cause just as well where he is than he did trailing along after you.”

Stryder grew quiet as he considered that. But it wasn’t just that one matter that had to be weighed. “You make it sound so simple. If I were to take Rowena as my bride, I would have the responsibility of not just my lands, but hers as well. Henry would never allow me freedom to travel. I must struggle even now to get him to allow me to leave England. As overlord of both domains, I would ever be forced to his side.”

“Nothing is ever simple. Nor is anything worth having unless you have to strive for it. But don’t strive too long, Stryder, or you may very well find yourself the loser in this. Have you given thought of how you will feel when you see the woman you love given over to another man to possess?”

Stryder blinked as Zenobia left him alone with an image in his mind so disturbing that he could barely draw breath.

Nay, he hadn’t thought of that. “Rowena won’t marry another!” he called out after Zenobia. His side protested his raised voice by throbbing instantly.

Zenobia stuck her head back in the tent. “Keep telling yourself that, and on the day of her wedding, I shall be there to comfort you.”

In that moment, he almost hated his friend for what she was doing. Throwing his pillow at her, he then turned his back to her and did his best to push her words out of his mind.

Rowena would never betray either one of them by choosing another husband. Her freedom was too precious to her.

What if she loves another?

Those words hovered in his mind like a demon plague. It was possible. Some other man could woo her. A man of poetry and song. One who would stay by her side and give her his children.

The thought tore through him.

Ultimately the decision of whether or not she had her freedom depended solely on him. He would win the tournament without question.

But the song competition...

She will hate you forever if you lose it.

Would she?

Dare he chance it?

Stryder lay in silent debate as his mind and heart warred. ‘Twas possible he might not win it. There were many others at court far better at song than he was. Would it be his fault if someone else was superior?

Would Rowena really blame him?

Set her free.

Stryder cursed. Aye, he would set her free. Look now how distracted he was and they barely knew one another. The last thing he could afford was to claim a woman whose very thought overshadowed everything else.

Such as the fact that they had a killer to locate before the assassin struck again.