Page 78 of She’s Worth the Risk

“I need your cock deep.” My hands tunnel into his hair and tug. “I’d take your cock in every part of me.”

He stills, his eyes moving over my face uncertainly. “Not every part…”

“Yes, Nick.” I meet his gaze head-on, ensuring my meaning is crystal clear. “Every part.”

A harsh breath bursts from him, his cock pulsing inside me. He rolls us on the sofa, pinning my arms above my head as he moves over me. His eyes flash with a wildness I’ve never seen, his thrusts growing urgent, desperate. I wrap my legs around him and watch him let go, heat blazing through me as he fucks me with abandon, knowing he’s thinking about what it would be like to fuck me in the most forbidden of places. The pleasure peaks, crashing through me hard, and I cry out. Nick’s right there with me, his hips stuttering as he buries his face in my shoulder, muffling his moan against my skin.

Then he’s kissing my neck, my ear, my jaw, gathering me against his chest. He rolls us onto our sides, his arms banding tight around me, as if he’s afraid of what will happen if he lets go. I sigh, nuzzling my nose into the hollow of his throat, breathing in the scent of him. I love his cock—his entire body is perfection—but this is my favorite part, right here. Close enough to hear his heartbeat, close enough to feel his breath. A fine dusting of hair, warm and perfect. As he strokes my hair, I realize how familiar he’s become since I arrived in the city. Familiar in a way I’ve never known.

I wait for that old itch to stir, the restlessness nudging me to pack and leave like I always do, but it doesn’t come. And as I lie in Nick’s arms, high from the afterglow of sex, I let myself consider it.

Seriously consider it.

What if I stayed? What would that mean?

Gran comes to mind. She’d be thrilled if I stuck around, and even if she won’t admit it, she could use someone to keep an eye on her. To make sure she’s safe and well, and be there if she’s not. With Violet’s baby shower coming up, Gran will need my help to host it, and I’d be sad to miss it.

I think again about the class I enrolled in on a whim. The more I read in Nick’s apartment, the more inspired I became. I’m aching to learn more about art, and that class would be a great start. It’s never a bad thing to study a little more, right?

And it sure as hell wouldn’t hurt to spend a little more time with Nick. It might be complicated with me being a student and him being a professor, but we’re both adults. Surely we could make it work.

But more than any of that, I don’t know what else I’d do if I didn’t stay in the city. I have nothing planned, and I haven’t got a clue where I’d go next. Staying here makes more sense than anything else.

At least, that’s what I tell myself as I lie in Nick’s arms in the studio, as I listen to his heartbeat steadily through his warm skin.

But deep down, I’m scared to admit the truth. That I’m not ready to leave this life I’m starting to want.

30

NICK

My stomach ties itself in knots when Labor Day rolls around, and not because classes start tomorrow.

I’ll be gone by Labor Day.

Zinnia’s words have played on an endless loop in my head for the past two weeks, each moment together growing more urgent. I keep waiting for her to tell me it’s time, that her bags are packed and she has to go, but it hasn’t come. It was easy to dismiss before Labor Day arrived, but as the early dawn light creeps in under the blinds on Monday, I can no longer hold the fear at bay.

Is she leaving today?

I roll my head to the side, looking at Zinnia in my bed. She’s so peaceful, dark hair splayed out on the pillow, one arm thrown casually across me, legs tangled in the sheets. We spent the entire weekend together, and while I’m surprised to find I’m ready for class tomorrow, I’m not ready for her to leave. I’ve known it from the start, I think, but it became undeniable on Thursday night.

Seeing Marcus should have freaked me out, and in the past I would have totally withdrawn, but it had the opposite effect. When Zinnia asked if I was thinking about him after life drawing, I was, but not in the way she assumed. I wasn’t ruminating on what happened between my brother and me all those years ago; I was replaying that moment Zinnia defended me so fiercely.

And when I wasn’t thinking about that, I was remembering what Marcus said to me at his bachelor party.

Once I met Priya it was like a light came on. All these years I thought I’d been living, but I was kidding myself.

It’s exactly how I feel with Zinnia, and knowing she’s leaving soon made me want her more urgently than ever. That’s why I had to have her on that sofa in June’s studio. Why I couldn’t wait. It’s not enough that we’ve spent two solid weeks together, that we’ve fucked on every surface in my apartment. I need more.

I need so much more with her.

She stirs, eyelids fluttering open to find me looking at her. A smile curls along her lips, and she sighs, trailing her hand across my chest.

“Hi,” she whispers.

“Morning.” My voice comes out hoarse, whether from sleep or emotion, I don’t know. I want to pull her close and make love to her, to spend the entire day curled up in my sheets together, but that will only make it so much harder when she leaves. Instead, I rise, pulling on my underwear. “Coffee?”

She nods, and I pad out to the kitchen, turning on the coffee machine. I glance out the window onto the street below as I wait for the machine to heat, gaze landing on the doorstep, where I spotted Zinnia the day she rang my buzzer, and my heart went fucking nuts at seeing her there. At knowing she’d come to see me, even though she shouldn’t. It feels like a lifetime ago now, and while this would be so much easier if she wasn’t about to leave, I also don’t regret it for a second. I can’t.