Page 66 of State of Ruin

CHAPTER 35

Elyse

Karma must be the snuggliest of kittens because in the twenty minutes that it took me to slip out of the house the other day with a Tupperware of still-hot apple muffins for Glo and Reggie, Sinclair Voss came to my door and was both yelled at and sent packing by my sister and my dad.

How’s that for timing?

I can’t believe I missed him. It’s so lucky. If I had answered the door to him, God knows what I would have done. I would have started shaking, probably. I definitely couldn’t have handled seeing his face. I think it would have killed me. I already see it all the time in my head, this heartbreaking movie from happier times of him smiling at me, and kissing me, and just staring at me as if he wanted to memorize me forever. And I don’t want to examine what it means that he came all the way to Jersey and showed up at my door. It could come over as romantic, I guess. Equally, it could just be the actions of a guy who likes to have the last word.

But speaking of missing him…

I miss him.

And, ugh, that makes me so angry. Angry at myself for being pathetic and angry at him for falling short, for not having my back behind closed doors, and for making it impossible for me to stay with him. Why, oh why, did he have to be such a total asshole underneath it all? And how can it still hurt, in a confusing, complex way, whenever I make myself a mug of the fancy French tea he left for me?

Lime blossom.

Le tilleul.

The only way I know how to deal with it is to keep busy and to stick as close to my family as possible. Right now, I need as much real love as I can get from people who genuinely have my back. The keeping-busy part is easy, too—there’s a ton to do on all fronts. I’ve picked up an extra shift at Alchemy, comforted by the knowledge that Sinclair can’t reach me there. I double down on housework and push Olivia for more and more casting calls. Vanessa has already texted to set up a meeting with the person who took over her role at Bellamy, which is insane. That’s set up for after Thanksgiving, so maybe it’ll yield something. Who knows?

When the mail drops through the mailbox around noon, I pick it up and sort through it. There are a couple of bills for Dad that I kind of wish I could hide from him and an envelope addressed to Sylvie with a cheery logo that says Unburdened in blue over a yellow sun. I frisbee it to her across the kitchen table, where she’s working.

She squints at it and picks it up. “What’s this?”

“No clue,” I say with a shrug. “Direct marketing, probably?” It’s insane, the kind of shit she gets targeted with since her accident. Top-of-the-range electric wheelchairs and live-in carers and hydrotherapy. Someone is selling the shit out of her medical data.

She rips it open, and I sit back down so I can keep working on my Costco shopping list. Dad and I are due our monthly trip this weekend. Toilet paper. Always toilet paper. And we’ll stock up for Thanksgiving there, too: everything except the turkey, which we’ll have to buy fresh next week. Who has room in their deep freeze for a turkey? Not the Wards, that’s for sure. I add marshmallows to the list, knowing Fleur will lose her mind when we come home with a wholesale-sized drum of them.

“Lees,” Sylvie says, her voice faint, “I don’t understand. Take a look.”

She holds out a single sheet of paper. I take it and start to read.

UNBURDENED

Relieving medical debt. Restoring peace of mind.

Case reference: 11023078

Dear Sylvie Ward

We have good news: you no longer owe this debt.

Unburdened is a nonprofit organization that uses donations to purchase and forgive medical debt for families across the country. Thanks to the generosity of our donors, we recently acquired a portfolio of medical debt held by providers in Hudson County, NJ, which included your accounts.

The following balances have been forgiven in full:

Jersey City Medical Center and affiliated providers: $366,143.50

This isn’t a scam, and there’s no catch. You don’t need to do anything. This debt won’t appear in collections any longer, and the IRS doesn’t consider our forgiveness of it taxable income to you.

Medical debt isn’t a personal failing. It happens to millions of hardworking Americans through no fault of their own, and we believe no one’s future should be defined by the cost of their care.

We wish you and your family health, happiness, and a lighter road ahead.

With warmth,

The Unburdened team