Page 140 of XO Karma

“I won’t apologize.” His tone is gentle as he creeps towards me with the carefulness of approaching a wounded animal.

Huffing, I fold my arms over my chest. “Color me shocked. The man who does what he wants, says what he wants, kills whoever the hell he wants, won’t apologize.”

“Lily, I can’t apologize because I’m not sorry,” he says, exasperated. “What was I supposed to do? Let you run back in there and possibly get yourself killed?”

“Yes!” I throw my hands in the air.

“No.” He shakes his head, jaw tight. “You can’t choose that. You can’t risk your life like that. No way.”

“And why the hell not? It’s. My. Life.” I can’t fathom why Violet’s dead and I’m still here. Why fate decided her time was up, yet mine must carry on, day by day, simply missing her. We did everything together. Surely, we could have ascended to the afterlife together too. I’d bet there’s a party in hell waiting for us, two tequila shots at the ready.

“Because.” He drags a hand through his hair, frustration simmering. “Because you’re not thinking clearly. You’re being reckless.”

“That’s my decision to make,” I repeat like a broken record, pointing at my chest.

“Baby, don’t you understand what you’re asking of me?” His voice cracks. “To just let you run into danger? To risk losing you?” He’s terrified of losing me, yet doesn’t blink when taking a life himself. And while I’ve come to understand and accept his motives, what does that make me, to love a killer when a killer took the person I love?

“You’d be fine.” I wave him off, trying to suppress the guilt that courses through me at my own hypocrisy. “You deal with death every day. Hell, you are death.”

“And you’re the love of my goddamn life!” he shouts, and I rear back in surprise. “Don’t you get that?” His soft, tortured eyes connect with mine, and my heart stutters. “Lily, you are everything. You can’t—” He clears his throat, looking away. “You can’t expect me to pretend my chest isn’t being ripped from my body every time you’re in peril or pain. Like I wouldn’t scorch the entire Earth to keep you safe.”

“Aster,” I say, but it comes out a whisper. He takes my hand, eyes boring into mine, so gentle and reassuring.

“I would rather you hate me. Never speak to me again. Never let me touch you again”—his eyes flicker with moisture and assuredness as he rubs his thumb over my knuckles—“than allow anything to happen to you. I would not survive it.” My soul leaves my body at his confession. “Not when you’re the air I breathe. The reason for my humanity. Not when I love you.”

My heart soars, stomach fluttering like an entire tornado of butterflies have escaped their cages, never to be recaptured. I rest my hand on his cheek. This man has so many layers, and as angry as I am for him forcing me to leave, I do realize returning inside could have been a massive risk. A risk that he wasn’t willing to take because… “You love me?”

“Of course I do.” He caresses my arms, and I blink back tears. If anyone understands the desperation to protect the people you care about, it’s me. If I could have saved Violet, I would have done it without hesitation. Consequences be dammed. “And if you don’t want to say it, if you’re not ready, I fully understand. I know you’re angry with me and that my⁠—”

“I love you too,” I blurt, unable to keep the feelings bottled up. Because I do, and he deserves to know. Life is too short to not make sure your people know how cherished they are. And I never want Aster to go a single day wondering if I care as deeply for him as he does for me.

“Really?” He sighs into my touch, gaze dropping from my eyes to my lips, and I nod, chest tightening.

“The way we met was unconventional, and while I’ve spent a lot of time cursing the cosmos and abandoning the idea that everything happens for a reason… I think there’s a reason you happened to me. When we met, I was so lost. I’d accepted that fate dealt me a shit hand to the point I even took on being a cosmic force myself.” I huff a laugh. “But being with you”—I take his hands in mine—“loving you, that’s pure, beautiful kismet.” His blinks, a tear trickling down his cheek, and I swipe it away. “You made me believe in fate again. You made me believe in myself.”

“I love you, Karma baby,” he croaks out.

“I love you, Grim.”

His lips are on mine in an instant. Strong. Claiming. All-consuming. I’m hoisted off the ground, my legs wrapping around him, and he carries me across the path, then sets me on the edge of the car’s hood. I bring my fingertips to the hem of his hoodie, tugging it and his shirt upwards. In one fluid motion, he rips them off, tossing them to the side.

My mouth goes dry as I drag my finger between his muscular pectorals and over his rippled abs towards his V.

So damn hot.

He unzips my jacket, tugging it off, then dips his fingers under the hem of my T-shirt and pulls it over my head, tossing it on the hood. I don’t even have time to worry about the cold air nipping my skin because his warm hands are on me. Every inch of me.

“You’re so beautiful,” he mumbles, kissing my cheek, neck, and making his way down to my chest. “So brave.” He runs a finger down my spine, and goosebumps erupt in its wake. His touch finds its way to my legs, and his hand glides over the fabric covering my marking. “So mine.”

Fuck.

Pushing a palm against his chest, I hold him an arm’s length away. The whiplash from my anger to his love confession has me in need of catching my breath. “You want me?” I ask as my eyes drink in his delicious body, and he nods eagerly. “Then you’re going to have to beg for it.”

A mischievous glint sparkles in his eyes, and I await his defiance. His first knee hits the dirt, and I suck in a sharp breath, heat growing between my thighs. His gaze still holds mine when the other hits the ground, and I brace my hands on the hood, searching for a grip on reality and finding none. This man is truly a gift from the gods.

He looks at me with such softness. Such adoration. Yet in the same moment, there’s that delicious darkness in his expression. It’s all-consuming. Addicting. And knowing I have the power to bring this powerful man to his knees instills a pride in me I can’t explain.

He’s mine.