Page 84 of Cocky Brutal Sinner

29

BEAU

I’ve never seen Brinley look so miserable. Her eyes are bloodshot and glassy, her glasses askew. Her face is red, blotchy, and streaks with the ghosts of tears. She’s wearing a ratty old gym shirt she stole from me and a faded pair of pajama pants with little cups of coffee on them. Her hair looks like it’s been through a literal hurricane that matches the emotional hurricane she must’ve survived.

It’s so good to see her face that I don’t even care. She looks fucking beautiful.

She stepped aside, letting me into the apartment. She’s not alone, of course. Eden’s sitting next to her in equally ratty pajamas, honey blonde hair piled precariously on her head. Eden looks quickly between my split lip and Brinley’s wracked face and puts two and two together.

“I should go,” she says, standing and grabbing a denim jacket. “I’ll go help Trevor at the Copper Cup, so I can give Brinley some time.”

“Are you sure you don’t want to change first?” Brinley asks.

“Nope! I’ll figure it out.” Eden squeezes Brinley’s shoulder, some unspoken communication passing between them. She breezes out, and the door clicks shut behind her.

Finally, Brinley and I are alone.

“So, they know,” she murmurs.

“I was going to tell Luke about us last night, after poker.” I shove my hands in my pockets, because I don’t know what to do with them otherwise. “When I got there, they had already opened the PI report from Nate’s guy. The report had everything—Peppermint, you and me, the whole thing. Luke gave me a chance to deny it, and when I didn’t, he started punching.”

Brinley frowns, looking more closely at my lip. “Does it hurt?”

“It’s fine. Luke’s knuckles split, too. I wasn’t fighting back as much, so I got away with just some bruises on mine.” Even though she doesn’t ask, I know Brinley wants to know how Luke is. No matter how much distance there is between them, she’s still his sister, and that means something to her. “After the other guys pulled us apart, I gave Luke the basic summary of us. He knows you and I have been together for years. He knows we kept it from him.”

She bites her lip. “I figured.”

“The guys all know you’re Peppermint. They’re all fucking furious, except for James, for some reason. We can’t contain the information anymore. Your real identity is out there. Everyone’s going to know.”

“They already do,” she says in a small voice that makes me wince. Of course—I’m sure she’s been bombarded with plenty of emails and calls already, not just mine. I doubt there are any friendly ones in the bunch.

After a long, painfully quiet moment, she asks, “Why did you come here?”

I’m too tired for the pretty words or grand declarations she deserves. So I just say, “Because last time, I just stayed and watched. I’m not doing that again.”

I know just from the way she scrunches her mouth that she knows what I mean. I’m talking about Luke’s stupid prank. The night when I stood there and said “don’t be a dick” and nothing more. The night I chose the group over her.

Brinley sighs and sits back down on the couch. She grabs a throw pillow and holds it tight to her chest.

“You can tell me now,” she says quietly. “Tell me your side of the story from that night.”

I sit next to her, purposefully not touching her. My legs are long enough and the couch is small enough that I don’t have much room to spread out, but hey, this conversation is going to be uncomfortable enough. I might as well be, too.

“The day with your diary, I was hanging out at your house with the guys,” I start. “They teased me a little about you, how much you’d like to see me. I didn’t think anything of it, because they were always doing that after Never Have I Ever. They were jerks.”

I glance over at Brinley. Her cheeks are bright red as she stares down at the throw pillow. Even mentioning that night still gives her residual embarrassment. I hurry ahead.

“I left the hangout early to help my mom at the restaurant. I didn’t know they had anything planned for the night. I didn’t even realize that I forgot my phone, because I wasn’t allowed to use it in the restaurant kitchen.

“They found my phone, and Luke had the idea that they should text you, pretending to be me. I didn’t know about any of that until I got out of my shift. I wasn’t sure where my phone was, but when I checked my laptop, the texts synced. It was too late for me to stop them, so I drove over to the coffeeshop as fast as I could. I figured that maybe I could get there before you did and warn you. Obviously, I didn’t make it in time.”

Tears well in Brinley’s eyes. She reaches under her glasses to thumb some away before they fall, and tenderness swells in my heart.

“When I walked in there and saw everyone, I just froze. I had no idea what to say or what to do. Not because I didn’t care about you, but because I was eighteen and terrified. My friends were my whole world, and I couldn’t figure out how to save you without losing them. So I said the stupidest, most half-assed thing I’ve ever said in my life. ‘Don’t be a dick.’ It wasn’t enough. It wasn’t close to enough.”

Brinley’s crying now, hard, silent sobs that come from deep in her chest. It’s like all the pain she packed in there over the past decade finally cracked open, releasing a toxic well of anguish. It’s not the kind of crying that can be assuaged by a hug or a few kind words.

“I should have crossed the room,” I rasp. “I should have taken the diary out of Luke’s hands. I should have walked out with you. I didn’t. And I’ve been trying to make up for it ever since, and I know that’s not the same thing as having done it right the first time.”